Color Blind

Perfect family

I looked at Johnny as he sat up, his facial expression scared me. I tried to pull my body, up against the headboard, but the motion sickness had me really weak. Johnny placed his arms underneath my pits and pulled me up into a sitting position, before moving away. I watched as he got up and walked back and forth. He started to walk out the room, come back in, and go back out again to grab a chair. Sitting the chair in front of me he ran his hair through his blonde locks so much like our sons, and finally looked at me. What he had to say I knew wasn't going to be good. 

"Vannah, when I went to fight, I didn't initially go to fight to free you, Pa would have done something terrible to you, and honest I thought if ya were free, you'd leave me if we won" He shook his head and frowned again.

"I came in you that night, cause I hoped to get ya wit child, I thought Trey and Percy leave ya alone if ya had my baby in ya" It was my turn to frown. Johnny got me pregnant on purpose, was this one on purpose too. I held my bulging stomach where the baby was.

"Yes, umm I had hoped to get you pregnant again, I just wanted you to want me Vannah, and I figure, having my seed would make ya want me more, I tell ya I know I aint right in da head Vannah, I know it, it's in my  blood" He gave a small smile full of unhappiness and it hurt me to see him that way. I pulled his hand in mine and kissed his knuckles.

"I cant say I forgive ya none yet Johnny, always thought ya do dat to me anyway, had hoped ya wouldn't, its men I's spose, cant take no woman saying no to ya" He nodded his head as he looked at me with a sad stare.

"I know ya hate me Vannah, ya got every right, if ya neva wanna see me gain, I understand, I don't want no mo hurt come to ya, dat land I got, ya name, Journey, Riva, and dis baby name on dat land, iffin ya find another" he looked away and bit his bottom lip, almost as if he was trying to stop himself from crying.

"Johnny I don hate you non, ya always in ma heart, just real sad when I think bout you, show how much I love ya when I been hurt all ma life, but it you dat broke me" Tears fell from my eyes again and I couldn't stop the sob that came from my mouth, Johnnys lip trembled before he started crying as well.

"I'm so sorry Vannah, I love ya so much, I'm so sorry, I'll do whateva ya need, whateva ya want, just believe me baby, please" I let him pull me into a hug and kissed his soft hair, so much like our sons.

" I don't eva want ya to pick up anotha drink Johnny, eva gain, I knows I did wrong, I wasn't thankin, jus whan ya wit dat red head devil, I gots so hot" I decided to let him know my reasoning, I never wanted to take my baby away. I was being stupid.

"Vannah, was ya jealous" I could almost see his smile and I pushed him away, and made a snotty expression.

"Ya said my pussy was sweeter and creamy, got no reason ta be jealous" Johnny nodded and kissed my wrist, then up my arm.

"And wettest my belle, best pussy dis side of da Mississippi" My face got hot as I pushed Johnny away again. He could be so embarrassing.

"Shut ya mouth Johnny, baby don't need ta hear dat, she hear ya" He smiled that beautiful smile at me, that made my heart rise in my throat, until I felt I would suffocate. Then placed his ear on my stomach as he talked to her.

"Why you think it's a gal" I looked down at him as he kissed my stomach over and over.

"Issa perfek famly, man, woman, boy, gal" I said looking away at how crazy I thought I sounded. Johnny sat up and looked at me like he never wanted to let me go.

" Can I kiss you" I rolled my eyes as I pulled him to me. His lips touching mine felt safe, not like I had felt earlier around him. I felt love, I felt happy. He pulled away and frowned again.

"I still have to tell ya what I done Vanna, what happen while I was gone" I nodded my head as he sat on the bed, and he put my legs on his lap, massaging my feet.

"If ya hate me afta I tell ya, I won't blame ya" I nodded my head, I could never hate him, plus I think I already knew what he had done.

"I killed Trey"