Color Blind

Mama's Home

"You ain't nothin but a black whore Vannah" I closed my eyes tightly, so the tears wouldn't fall, as daddy berated me because Trey decided to sneak into our shack last night and lay with me. We didn't do anything but hold each other. Mista John beat him yesterday for no reason and he needed me.

"He kno bout yo white boy too, dat you fuckin Percy n' Mista John" I shook my head no to the latter. Not that he didn't know but Percy had raped me and all Mista John ever did was kiss me. Did he know about Johnathan? Yes! Neither was willing to share me with the other, but neither was willing to let me go.

"Papa, stop" Chris said coming to my defense and I just glared at him. I didn't need anyone defending me. I came to peace with the fact that daddy hated me. I could only guess why, but he hated me with a passion.

"Stop, she whoring haself out to dem boys, ain't bringin nuthin back to sho fo it" I wasn't a whore. Besides Trey doing that thing he does with his mouth between my thighs; I've only ever kissed either of them. Percy hadn't taken my front virginity so I was still a virgin. I wasn't whoring myself, I wasn't no whore.

"I ain't no dam whore" I said softly but I know loud enough for him to hear it. He looked down at me, a fire in his eyes.

"You say ta me gurl, huh, speak louda" I got off the floor where Papa has slapped me to and I stood up, looking straight at him.

"I ain't no dam whore, I ain't fuckin or nothin bad, you hate me so much papa, why, what I do make ya hate me so" He narrowed his eyes at me as he pushed past me and out the shack. I looked up at Chris and he shook his head following after daddy. My sister came over to me and gave me a hug.

"I don't think you a whore Vannah" I smiled at her and gave her a big hug. As Journey and I got older we became closer. She was most of the reason i still stayed in this shack and didn't move to Trey's. Speaking off he came in a moment later looking very upset.

"Vannah, baby you okay" I nodded my head, staring at him in confusion, papa beat me nearly every other day.

"Why, ain't nothin new, papa mad at everybody,  so he beat me, same thang er'day" He looked at me pissed that my father had laid his hands on me but confused.

"You don't know then" I looked over at Journey and back at Trey. "what happened" I asked him as he started to hold my hands in his tightly.

"The war baby, Mista John and yo lover left dis mornin, thought he least woulda said bye to ya" I frowned, Johnathan was gone to the war. He never told me anything about it. My chest felt heavy and it began to hurt for some reason.

"It's good for us though Vannah" i narrowed my eyes at him as I pushed him out of the way and walked towards the fields to work for today. I just wanted to clear my mind. How could he not say bye? What if he never came back? I stayed out in the field all day. I didn't talk to nobody and nobody talked to me; I liked it better this way. I pushed Johnathan to the back of my mind as the pain in my chest made me feel as if I was about to explode. I felt bad for how I had did Trey but doesn't he know I care about the both of them equally. If he had left me to go to war.....................................then not saying goodbye. I felt streaks down my eyes and frowned when I saw they were tears. i did not cry over anything. I wiped them away as I gave the barrels of cotton to the slave plantation manager.

"Percy got you all to himself now girl" I felt a shiver down my spine and walked towards the shack when i heard a familiar scream. I turned to see momma being manhandled by two white man. They were followed by Johns wife who just smirked. She went into our shack where the men dropped a bruised and beaten momma on the floor.

"While he'll be mad his favorite whore was beaten and taken, he'll get over it, you girl, you come with me" I looked over at Journey and frowned. She couldn't take my sister away, momma was on the floor, bleeding everywhere.

"Grab that mixed mutt and bring her to the house"

"Maam, please that's my sista, please, take me" Mista Johns wife laughed and slapped me so hard I fell next to momma. I glared angrily at the floor.

"It's going to be different around here, and you slut" She said pulling up momma's hair to look in her face before spitting in it.

'Stay the fuck away from my house and my husband you filthy nigga whore" I reached out for Journey as the men took her away and screamed her name. Mista John's wife shut our door and I went to look after momma who looked close to death. I couldn't believe she was here. While I was sad John wasn't, I was happy Mista John wasn't. I grabbed some cloths, a bowl of hot water , and some aloe plants and tended to momma. Moments later Papa, Chris and Trey came in looking upset, their faces changed quickly as they realized who I was taking care of.

"Baby, baby that you" Papa came over and literally pushed me out the way to talk to her, he put his hands down her back and kissed her face over and over again. Chris started to cry as he looked around.

"Where's Journey" Tears slipped from my eyes as I told the whole story, especially when I got to the point of them taking Journey. My father paid no mine to what had happened to his beloved daughter and helped momma like she was a baby bat. Trey knelt beside me and held me as I cried even more.