Color Blind

Traitor

My breath caught, but if I was being honest with myself, I knew it when he told me. I don't know if it was because I felt I deserved the pain, for being with Johnny after Trey, but he had almost killed his brother, and got a white woman pregnant. How long before someone else would have caught up with him?

"I, can't say I done it for no other reason than being jealous, I...............I wanted for him to just leave, never come back yo way, then he start talkin bout how my son call him daddy, how he was married to ya, and how he take ya to bed, I saw red Vannah, after the war, I............................I don't think da same no mo, my daddy was makin sense ta me, I is as fucked up as I ever coulda been" I shook my head and gripped his hand in mine. My eyes filled with tears, because I truly was hurt Trey was gone, he hurt me, but I still loved him. Through it all, I still loved him.

"I felt da same way for dat Devil woman ya had Johnny, just how ya do it" He frowned and pulled my hands to his lips to kiss them.

"I beat him, couldn't get da image of him bein inside ya out ma head, he was bloody, but breathing, I tell da boys to put him in a box and put him on da lake, honest Vannah, i just wanted for him ta neva see ya gain, I tol him to go and never come near you gain, but he...............................when I was at war, I went in place of Percy, Pa knew he die quick, I had been to war befor, so I went in his place, for the confederacy, I was a traitor, found me givin information to the Union, Confederacy found out, they beat me, tortured me, made me watch them rape and kill three young negro gals, then made me, over and over Vannah, I still dream bout it, all I could see was you, wondering if ya was ok, when I closed my eyes, when I woke up, when I killed blacks and whites, I just wanted to get home to ya, and I deen bought ya nothing but pain since I been home" I wiped Johnny's tears as my eyes blurred. He had been through so much, and he was still feeling the effects of going to war.

"I missed ya too Johnny, more den ya culd think, you made me happy when I saw you at dat lake" Johnny nodded and buried his head into my neck, not wanting to let me see him cry.

"I killed the men I went to war wit Vannah, eryone think I fought against the Union, if someone got way that Is a traitor, Ill be put ta death" I sat back shocked, I shook my head and felt the tears fall.

"You killed em all tho right, des all dead" Johnny shrugged his shoulders as he wiped his eyes. The redness in them reminding me of when he was drunk.

"Den stay wit me, don go back, I lose Trey, dun make me lose ya to" Johnny sighed and pulled me closer to his body, kissing my shoulder.

"I got's ta work of ma debt to my father, da only reason, I even marry that devil woman ya calls her, but if ya wait for me Vannah, once I have erythang, I come back for ya, give ya dat family I promise ya" I nodded my head and held the love of my life. I loved Trey something terrible, but I knew that Johnny had and always would have all of me. 

"How I believe ya Johnny" He smiled at me and kissed my finger making me laugh, then his bright blue eyes lit up the way Riva's does when he gets a sweet.

"Marry me, right here, right now, dat way the devil woman won't really be my wife, we have Journey preside, we consummate it, and you mine Vannah, and I'm yours" I looked at him for a moment and smiled. 

"Yes, I'll marry you"