Color Blind

Happy Birthday!!

I woke up a little excited today. There was nothing special going on today, just my birthday! I was turning 15 and daddy said that Mista John might let momma come see me. I was up before the sun even came out. I cleaned the cabin as quietly as I could so as not to wake up papa, Chris or Journey. I then ran to the field with my bag and made sure to get at least three bushels to make Mista John really happy. I took my time, made sure they was clean and no worms. I was done by the time the sun was shining in the sky and I grabbed my bushels and smiled as Mista John came over to me.

"You fifteen today gal" I nodded my head excitedly as Mista John gave me a bored look. He knew what i wanted and I knew he was going to stall just to bother me. I didn't care though, so long as I got to see momma.

"You all woman now too, beautiful gal" he touched my face and smiled at me and I tried not to flinch back in disgust.

"I let you see ya mama, what you give me, ain't nothing in this life fa free" I felt my heart sink a little. Mista John didn't have to ask, but I guess even he gets tired of girls screaming when he take them.

"I don't know what to give Mista John" He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss my lips. I wanted to cry but I just puckered my lips and kissed him back. He moved away from me and smiled.

"I guess your first kiss is good enough for now, go round back to the stables, I'll send her out soon enough" I nodded and ran to my room to clean up. Everybody was up already and papa was looking at me with that mean look again.

"So you go be his whore too” I looked back at Papa confused. Why would he say that to me?

"I'm not go be his whore papa, I just want to see momma" I said as quietly and as respectfully as I could. Papa just laughed at me and Chris glared daggers at him.

"You go be a white man’s whore gal, nothing else for you in this life, and she aint yo momma, you killed ya mama, member" I felt this feeling inside my body I had never felt before. I was angry, I was filled with rage, not even on my birthday could he be good to me.

"I didn't kill mama, you did bein a coward" I whispered but said loud enough for him to hear. Chris looked at me in fear as papa got up and stormed over to me pushing me hard against the wall.

"What you say to me gal, I'll break that pretty lil face o'yours, moufing off at me" I moved off the wall and got in papa's face. I guess I was brave today.

"I said yous a coward, you mad at me when I ain't did nothin, you let my real momma run off alone and get killed cause you a coward, you let Mista John rape momma cause you a coward, and you beat me cause you a coward Papa" I said yelling at him as loud as I could. The next moment I saw stars and my vision became blurry. All I could see was Chris and the stranger from a year ago pushing papa out the cabin. I tried to get up but I couldn't because of the pain in my cheek. I sat there for a moment as Journey came over to me.

"You okay, why do you do that, why you mouf off at him when you know he go hurt you" She used a towel and wiped my bleeding nose as tears fell from her eyes.

"I thought he was go kill you, stop being stupid, just be good slave" She said with a small smile on her face as she kissed my forehead. I suddenly stood up still feeling a little dizzy and almost fell again.