who knew? » youtuber one shots

• migraines ∞ lachlan angst •

ship:: none.
type:: angsty.
song:: migraine by twenty one pilots
parts:: one
a/n:: 'cause sometimes to stay alive you've gotta kill your mind.

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am i the only one i know,
waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?
shadows will scream that i'm alone.

i hate this mask i put up. this facade. i hate it. so. fucking. much.

i-i-i i've got a migraine
and my pain will range from up, down, and sideways,
thank god it's friday
'cause fridays will always be better than sundays
'cause sundays are my suicide days,

my head hurts from keeping it up for so long. i've been keeping up with the lie that i'm okay for so long. the worst part is, my friends believe it. i'm not sure whether i should be happy or upset.

i don't know why they always seem so dismal,
thunderstorms, clouds, snow, and a slight drizzle,
whether it's the weather or the letters by my bed,
sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head,

i just want to die. why won't my body just let me die?

your friends.

they don't give a shit about me. they've started ignoring me anyways.

your family.

my father tells me i was a mistake all the time.

let it be said what the headache represents,
it's me defending in suspense,
it's me suspended in a defenseless test
being tested by a ruthless examiner
that's represented best by my depressing thoughts,

my mother noticed something was wrong. it seems the mask i've spent years putting up is coming crashing down. she wants to take me to a doctor, a therapist, anything. but i tell her i'm fine.

i do not have writer's block,
my writer just hates the clock,
it will not let me sleep, i guess i'll sleep when i'm dead,
and sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head.

my head hurts so much. i'm tired too. why can't i sleep if you won't let me have death? but i guess if you give me death i get an infinite amount of sleep. maybe it's my headache keeping me awake.

am i the only one i know
waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?
shadows will scream that i'm alone,
But i know we've made it this far, kid.
yeah, yeah, yeah

i'm trying not to give up. its hard though. i want to die on a daily basis, but i won't kill myself. my mother wouldn't forgive herself and would blame herself until she died herself.

i am not as fine as i seem, pardon
me for yelling, i'm telling you green gardens
are not what's growing in my psyche, it's a different me,
a difficult beast feasting on burnt-down trees
freeze frame please, let me paint a mental picture portrait,

i'm not 'me' anymore, one of my friends said today. they're just now noticing i'm not fine? but the question is, was i ever really me? i'm just an empty shell.

something you won't forget, it's all about my forehead,
and how it is a door that holds back contents,
that make pandora's box's contents look non-violent,