ALWAYS (Hinny)

Chapter 20 : What's happening to me?

Days passed slowly. I was feeling more and more depressed every minute. Hermione was quite worried about me. I was confused. Why would I be depressed? I had a nearly normal life... well with some problems but they seemed to disappear slowly. It was Monday evening and it had already been a week since Harry and Ron were gone. I couldn't wait to see them. To see him. I didn't want to eat. I already hadn't eaten that morning, and I had only had some pasta at lunch. I didn't know what to do. Hermione wanted me to go to the infirmery, but I didn't want to. What could I tell Madam Pomfrey? "Hello I'm completely depressed for absotlutely no reason, and I don't know how you could possibly help me but I came here anyway!" No way.

"What are you gonna do then?" Hermione asked. "You don't even eat anymore. There must be a reason."

"Then tell me what is that  reason if you're so clever!" I sighed as we walked back to the common room after dinner.

"Ginny... I'm just worried about you.."

"I'm sorry.. but I'm fine..."

She sighed loudly. "Ginny everyone knows you are not!"

"Please just leave it."

"Fine." She said and didn't say a word again that evening.

In the common room I bumped into someone. I looked up to see who it was and to my displeasure, Dean Thomas was standing there.

"Hi Ginny!"

"Hi." I said, in a bored voice.

He looked confused.

"Come on, cheer up Gin!"

This ruined my mood even more.

"What?" He said as I clearly frowned.

"Don't." I just said.

"What?"

"Don't call me that." I said calmly.

"Harry calls you that."

"You're not Harry." I replied,  tired of repeating myself, and my tone cold that time.

"Fine." He said and walked away.

***

My eyes shut open. I was in a crowd. The same crowd that I had dreamt about the other night. I had the same feeling of lonelyness. I looked around and coudln't see anything but all those people around me. I knew what I needed. I could feel it. I could feel him.

"Harry...." I sighed... "HARRY."

"GINNY!!!!!" His voice made my heart nearly stop. I wanted to find him. I needed to. Where was he?

"HARRY??? HARRY!!!!" I yelled, tears in my eyes. I didn't even know why I was crying. I was feeling relieved and panicked at the same time. I cried his name with all my heart again and again, running in the crowd, hoping I would find him.

"HARRY!!!"

And suddenly everything disappeared and I heard feminine voices shouting at me. I couldn't hear what they were saying. My whole body was shaking, and there were tears on my face. I let out a cry, sighed in pain, and dark surrounded me.

***

"Look! She is moving!"

"Should we tell Harry and Ron?

"I don't think it's a good idea. Harry would come back and it would ruin his training."

I was listenning to the conversation the voices I recognized as Hermione's, Melissa's and Laliah's were having, keeping my eyes closed.

"But it looks quite serious."

I wanted to see Harry. I knew it was horribly selfish but I couldn't help it. I was such a horrible person. But.... I needed to see him. This dream....It was now the second time... but now I was in the hospital wing.

I opened my eyes. They were all looking at me. Betty was there too.

"Ginny...." Hermione sighed.

"What happened to me?"

"You were...screaming.. and sort of crying...and when you woke up.... you collapsed."

"Ow.." I said awkwardly.. "Sorry to wake you all up in the middle of the night again."

"Don't worry about it! We were so worried."

"And we won't be mad about it even though it was 2 in the morning..." Melissa faked anger to diffuse the tension. I would have loved to laugh, but I couldn't.

Hemione was about to say something when a shiny dog ran into the room. Ron's patronus.

"Hi, hope you are all okay. Just so you know, Harry's now in the hospital wing, he had a strange nightmare again. Woke up at two in the morning. Love you all, love you 'Mione. Harry will probably be okay, he must be sick, he wasn't feeling so well all this week. Bye."

Everyone in the room stayed silent. Looking at the place where the patronus was, then at me, and back at the patronus. No one dared to even open their mouth. It was Madam Pomfrey who broke the silence.

"Oh so you are finally awake!! How are you?" She asked. No one replied. "Girls?"

I was so confused. But even though everything was so strange and nothing made sense, my mind was only focused on one thing. Harry. Was he alright? My heart ached, thinking about him.

"Ginny?" Madam Pomfrey asked again.

"Harry..." I sighed.

"Harry? Harry Potter?" She said. His name gave me shivers. How I missed him. I nodded.

"What about him?"

I shook my head. How could I know? I suddenly broke down into sobs. Why the hell was I crying? Why?! What did he do to me!?

Hermione hugged me.

"Ginny..."

"I'm so sorry... I don't know why I'm that pathetic..."

"Ginny.. what's really happening? Please tell me..."

"I miss him. I know you won't get it because it's only been a week since he's gone... but... ARGH!!  I yelled, punching my pillow. "What's happening to me?"

This wasn't me... I wasn't that type of girl who could cry over a guy every night just because he was gone for a while... I'm not that type of girl.. I'm strong...

"You need to rest." Madam Pomfrey said.

"What? But there's Quidditch practise this evening!!"

"I don't care! Look at you! I don't know what's happening to you but it's serious."

"I'm perfectly fine!!! It's Harry who's not! I... I... I want to see him." I said, years threatening to fall again.

"But you can't. You only have to wait until Saturday morning."

"But it's too long! I'll never make it!!"

"I'm sorry?"

"I feel... weak.. I don't know why... but I need him.. and I know he needs me.."

"She's going crazy..." Laliah said worryingly.

"Saturday is only in 5 days..." Hermione added.

"I know... but"

"Ginny... calm down.." Laliah tried.

"Go away." I said.

"What?"

"Go away. You don't understand. Just go. Leave me alone let me sleep." Or more of let me die.  I added internally.

"But.."

"Please."

And with that they stepped out of the room, leaving me alone.

I sighed loudly and fell back on my bed. What the hell was happening to me?