Take Me Home, Ground Control

Grief

Hi.

Wow. What an emotional roller coaster. I'm a mess.

Grieving sucks. Loss sucks.

We all love and we all die and it's not fair that those two cross over.

I'm going to list some things that make me happy. Because that's all I want. I promise I'll take care of myself, I'm just going through some personal stuff.

HAPPINESS LIST
-the stars
-the moon
-the way everything in the world lines up so we can meet wonderful people
-the vastness of the universe
-the color black
-the beauty of rainbows
-sunflowers
-my gf
-irises
-roses
-sunshine on grass
-cacti
-falling in love
-recovering from heartbreak
-falling in love again
-1920s Jazz
-awkward phases
-reading new books
-rereading the classics
-being complimented unexpectedly
-when strangers smile
-guitars late at night
-2am giggling
-HAlarious puns
-hugging someone you miss
-talking to old friends
-being alone
-vintage comic books
-holding hands
-sunrises
-the smell of autumn
-the sounds of dusk
-making people smile
-cute text messages
-meeting cool people
-talking to brother
-singing softly
-humming loudly
-shouting shamelessly for no reason
-music field trips
-the excitement of recording studios
-sewing stuffed toys
-picking people up
-edgy necklaces
-bracelets
-when someone puts their hand on my shoulder
-spontaneous high fives
-acrylic paint
-oil paintings
-smiles when they think nobody sees
-jumping up and down happily
-creating things
-dark poetry
-silly stories
-horror movies
-cheesy romances
-awful special effects in science fiction movies
-laughing and throwing popcorn
-making funny faces and voices
-surprises
-cute beanies
-tuxedos
-80s hair
-dyed hair
-chemistry work
-romantic moments
-My Chemical Romance
-discovering new bands
-exploring new aesthetics
-the color of the sky
-sandy beaches
-dancing strangely and shamelessly
-beds
-pillows
-social justice conversations
-cloudy days
-the sounds of raindrops
-the taste of snow
-desert skies
-board games
-card games
-truth or dare
-never have I ever
-weird party games
-people who laugh really loudly
-crimson font colors
-seeing comic sans in professional places
-blushing
-new paintbrushes
-old, falling apart paintbrushes
-childhood artwork
-feeling inspired
-organized lists
-irony
-writing
-showing people my writing
-telling my stories
-wearing wigs
-pretty dresses
-not-so-pretty-but-still-great dresses
-lemonade
-tea
-pomegranates
-almost ripe apples
-fuzzy bees
-naming insects and spiders
-tolerance for different beliefs
-mints
-lots of fluffy blankets
-forts made of blankets
-nice soil for plants
-eating vegetarian meals without being questioned
-fruit
-vegetables
-chocolate
-operas
-big plot twists
-possibly getting 2 doctorate degrees and introducing myself as Dr Dr
-candles
-the first constellations at night
-warm summer breezes
-lazy rivers
-weird little kids
-"his name is Carter"
-correct pronoun use for EVERYONE
-Shakespeare's Hamlet and actually everything he wrote?
-Shakespearean insults
-giggling at inappropriate times
-playing death metal in school hallways during lunch
-future rockstar reputations at school
-ohmygosh I became the emo/rockstar stereotype in my classes and someone else took the nerd stereotype for once wow
-almost insane hairstyles
-spontaneous people
-traveling
-early morning sports practices
-late night music trips
-swimming
-guitar picks
-piano keys
-happy ukuleles
-happy little trees
-hilarious orchestras
-car racing
-extreme sports
-classic cars
-literally anything that doesn't make me sad or angry

I encourage you all to think of or list the things that have made you smile.

Love ya,
Carter
He/him
<3 ;