Take Me Home, Ground Control

Genderrrrrrrr

Yo.
You.
What's up?

I've been more confused about my gender again. Like I usually just tell people I'm a guy because most of the time I feel like I am, but I might be genderflux. I think. I just don't know how to explain that to people. Because getting people to understand trans people just within the gender binary is hard enough and I've been out as a trans guy for a year and a half at school. Next week I'm going to be wearing a "he/him or they/them" pronoun sticker and giving a speech. I'm going to talk about being trans* and proud, my struggle with anorexia, and coping with the differences from my family. My family doesn't know this. They don't know I'm out at school, and I'm not even out to a sibling. They don't know I've been depressed or anorexic or had panic attacks and anxiety issues. So I'm living 2 lives as safely as I can. I'm just hoping the people I know are homophobic and transphobic that are listening to my speech won't harass me or assault me or anything. That would suck to explain to my family. And in general. Anyways, I'm gonna show people my actual pronouns at school and we'll see what happens. WOOOO ADRENALINE. So my gender. It fluctuates between dude and nothingish but there's some other weird feelings, so yeah. Today is a feeling fairly feminine but I'm not really a girl so I don't know what this is. Maybe some other gender? Maybe bigender? Pangender? Ahhhhhh. Idk. I'm exploring labels but I'm gonna stick with the umbrella term "trans*" with my comfortable pronouns because I just know I'm not cisgender. I'll update you if I figure out a better label. Gahhhhhhhhh! Confusing!

I hope y'all are doing well.

Love ya,
Carter
They/them
<3 ;