Family

-74-

As the night went on Felix's words kept swirling around my head, consuming my thoughts.

What if he wasn't lying? Why would Dan be contacting Mia without even telling me? Something about the whole situation just made me feel deeply uncomfortable and upset.

"Hey Y/N, are you ok? You seem a little shaken up" Emma approached me and leaned against the bar casually, her eyebrows furrowed in concern "yeah, it's just Felix said that Dan had been contacting Mia lately and I don't know if I believe him or not" if I was going to talk to anyone about this I wanted it to be Emma, she's always so brutally honest which is something I need right now. "I heard that too, it's become a sort of rumour, I'm surprised you didn't hear about it sooner" hm, interesting.

"What do you think I should do?" I wanted to confront Dan immediately but I didn't want to spoil Sam's party and Sam is my top priority at the moment. "Just ask him about it casually and if he admits that he has then he's probably not up to anything but if he denies it and gets all protective then he's definitely done something bad" I repeated what she said in my head, branding every word into my mind so that I didn't forget. "Ok, I'll leave it for now and ask him when we get home".

I tried to enjoy myself for the rest of the evening and by enjoy myself I mean eating food while watching everyone else dance and vlog, basically the same thing I do at every party. I was glad to see sam having fun though.

Suddenly Phil skipped towards me, his cheeks bright red from dancing "I think we should start getting everyone to leave now, the owner just said we had 10 minutes to get everyone out" I glanced up at the clock above the bar and saw that it was almost 11pm and way past my bedtime. "Yeah ok, let's start rounding people up"

Phil asked the Dj to stop the music as I began to tell people that it was time to leave, prying the alcohol out of people's hands. "Sorry guys but it's time to leave!" Phil announced politely, passing the microphone back to the dj afterwards "aww what? But I was having so much funn.." Chris slurred, obviously drunk. I put my arm around his shoulder and pat him on the back comfortingly "come on Chris, it's home time" I began to lead him out the door where dan was waiting to take him and sam back to the flat.

"Hey Chris, come on let's go, sam is waiting for us at home" wait sam already left? Huh, I wonder how I didn't notice that. Chris stumbled into Dan and he just tried to keep him steady by sliding his hands under his arms. "I'll see you at home babe" I shot him an icy cold glare as he said the word babe and just turned around before strutting back into the pub to help tidy up. I want him to know how much trouble he's going to be in when we get back home.

"Hey Phil, need any help clearing up?" Mostly everyone had gone home but Sean and Zoe stayed to help tidy. "No, I think we've got it covered, just make sure pj, Chris, Dan and sam get home safe" I nodded in agreement before yawning rather loudly. "And try to get some rest" I let out a small laugh under my breath "well I'll see you later then guys!" I waved goodbye to Sean and Zoe and then stepped back outside into the freezing cold.

As I walked home I purposefully walked at a slower pace than usual just because I needed time to think on my own. As much as I love Dan I don't think I want to be with him any more, it's just too much emotional baggage that I don't have time or energy for at the moment, I still have to get the rest of my life sorted out and I don't want to be know as 'that youtubers girlfriend'. I want to be known as me, Y/N.

I'll probably stay with pj and that lot because it genuinely is fun living with them and I feel like they've helped me grow a lot as a person. I will definitely continue my YouTube channel which I've been neglecting a little bit lately cause I really do want to pursue a career in YouTube.

Even though the thought of not dating dan makes my heart ache I know that ultimately it is for the best.

I AM SO SAD THIS BOOK IS ENDING IM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY I FEEL LIKE IM SENDING MY CHILD TO UNI