My Secrets & Randomness III

Rant

I don't get it. I honestly don't. How am I still being blamed for the friendship between me and my ex best friends ending?

I, to this day, am still being pointed at and accused for something which I have mainly no fault in.

It's quite weird actually. Someone made a jab at me recently about wanting to do my Quasar project alone, which, even if it didn't sound like an accusation, clearly was one.
It's as if they still blamed me for having done it all myself. Excuse me but when my ex best friend and I were discussing about it [our task at the time was to create a presentation about Shakespeare], she kept saying that she didn't want to do this certain topic about him. She said that she didn't like doing a poster about his teenage years. And I was blamed for her not wanting to do a certain topic.

It's a PROJECT. It is SCHOOL. Do you think I want to do this whole Shakespeare malarkey? Do you think I want to know about how he gained popularity and where he came from and about his uneventful life? Do you think I wanted to write loads of A3 papers based on it?! No. Of course I didn't. And yet I still did. For the sake of school, for the sake of professionalism. We all have to do things we don't want to do, in order to gain the things we do actually want.

When I made this point a long time ago, someone said to me, "Oh but she wasn't happy with having to do it about his teenage years so you should have gave her another."
Every single one, she refused. And if she didn't want to do teenage years, how about she give a suggestion as to what she would prefer doing? But she didn't. She, not once, questioned what she could do. She just went along with it until she realised that she could get into trouble for not having done any work.

I was also blamed for something I said whilst a FLIPPING ARGUMENT occurred. It's an argument! What else do you expect me to say? "Oh she's being such an idiot but it's fine actually - I don't mean what I'm saying, I'm only saying it because we're in an argument." Oh yeah, that totally works.
And every single time I said something, she agreed. Before you start saying that maybe it was because she felt pressured to do so - and that's why she revealed those things I said which, must I remind you again, was DURING AN ARGUMENT - if she was feeling pressured, then why didn't she tell the others? Why did she tell them at the end of the year, after we've done everything together, after I helped her with most of her assessments? Why did she tell them at a time where it was irrelevant to do so because the argument occurred months ago, and did not matter?

It's obvious that she just used the argument as an excuse to get me out. So then not only could I have been out of their friendship circle, but I also would have been thought to be the one that was in the wrong.

I really don't understand. Whilst I may have made a few remarks about the other two people in our friendship group being I biased towards each other, the best friend who had betrayed me was the reason those thoughts started occurring as she had been the one to first point it out. She had planted them into my mind which led me to saying them out loud.

And yet here I am, being blamed. Being unfairly accused. Being framed. Being in "the wrong".