Long nights and street lights

Just like old times

I woke up the next morning, in a different bed, in a different house, with no memory of the previous night. I abruptly sat up. 

"Shit." 

Someone stirred beside me. I peered over the stranger's shoulder which revealed a somewhat familiar face. 

"Shit. What have I done?" 

I peeked under the covers. 

"Shit." 

I scrambled out of bed, took a hoodie and raced out the door without leaving a note. 

I was old me again, and I didn't like it. 

"Hey, missing you." I texted as soon as I reached his apartment. I decided that I was going to ignore last night and pretend like it never happened. The thing about my old life though, was that it was addicting, I knew it, and I was already keen for Friday night. 

I promised myself never to talk to the man again. But I also knew in the back of my mind that I would be hooked as soon as I heard his honey-like voice. And I didn't have to wait long. 

I decided to make the weekly shopping trip, mainly because I was out of coffee, but also because I was bored out of my brains. 

The supermarket was a place I found comfortable. As I've said, I'm and extrovert and I love people, so the supermarket made me feel bubbly inside. But not today. 

I always start with the non-food things first and finish with the vegetables, that day I wish I hadn't though. Maybe I would have averted a crisis. A crisis that I would avert any day at all costs. 

I walked down the hygiene aisle, scanning for the first item on my list, toothpaste. After finding the mint green packaging and throwing it joyfully into my trolley. I had forgotten Jake and I was so ready to forget him for good. 

I pushed the trolley further down the aisle to where the deodorant was. I bought two cans of Connor's, one for me to spray all over the apartment to remember his beautiful scent and the other for him. I picked up my usual deodorant and was comparing it with another on the shelf when a scent I recognised, drifted past me. 

I looked up to see who it was and who I saw made my palms sweat and my pulse increase significantly. The back that was facing me belonged to an averagely tall man wearing a grey sweater and jeans. His hair was somewhat fading to grey and trimmed short. I could have sworn to the gods above that it was my Dad. 

I closed my eyes and opened them again. The man was still there. He was wearing the same clothes as my Dad, had the same build and the same features. I ran up with tears slowly running down my face. 

"Dad!" I called. "Dad! It's me." 

The man didn't turn around so I kept running. I ran as fast as my legs would carry me. As I reached him, I tapped him on the shoulder and exclaimed, "Dad! I've missed you so much." 

The man that turned around had an astonished look on his face and was clearly not my Dad. My heart broke in two. I wiped the tears and coughed a little. 

"Sorry, I just..I thought you were someone else." I almost whispered before hurrying outside to get fresh air. I burst outside the doors and let the tears come. I reached a bench and put my head in my hands, thinking breathe, just breathe. Then my phone rang, it was Connor but hell I was in no state to talk to him, so I ignored it.