Long nights and street lights

Home sweet home

I pulled away after only a few seconds. A record. 

"You need to go." I whispered. 

He didn't object, just silently rose from the couch that belonged to my boyfriend and stared at the floor as he hastily strode out the laundry door, to his car. My eyes filled with tears. Not because I just told him to get out, but because I knew he was trouble and yet, every time he knocked on the door, I let him in. 

My life had turned into a secret and a nightmare. I was digging myself a grave and the worst thing was, I knew it and I didn't stop. 

I stayed on the couch but watched him walk out the door and get into his car. The whole time, a blank but concerned expression on his face. Mixed emotions flooded my brain, so I undressed, wrapped my leg in plastic bags and got into the shower. I let the water run over me, as if I was trying to wash away my sins and guilt of the past week. 

I heard the front door opening and sat up in bed, it was 2:37am. I leapt into the air and bounded down the hall. "Connor!" I shouted. As I rounded the corner, I didn't see Connor, but once again Jake in front of me. 

"Get out!" I screamed. He didn't hesitate, tried to kiss me and lifted me up as I kicked and screamed. He carried me to the bedroom and lay me down on the bed, beginning to undress me. 

"I'll call the police!" I threatened but he paid no attention. Just as he had fully undressed me and began to kiss me again, the front door opened again. 

"Connor! Help me please." Connor walked into the room and gasped. He looked at me with an expression of complete shock on his face. 

"I can't believe you." He said and walked out again.

I heard his car pull out of the driveway as I continued to scream his name. 

I woke up sweating and still saying his name. I was almost hyperventilating. My life really was my worst nightmare now. If I didn't fix my situation, that terrifying dream would come true, and I knew it. The clock showed 5:21am. I got up and made myself a hot chocolate and crept back to bed, looking around every corner in case he was there. 

At around ten, I heard the front door open and close. I froze for a moment and heard a voice call out, "I'm home!". My heart leapt with joy and I tried to run down the hall. Connor embraced me in his tight hug. 

"You don't know how much I've missed you." My eyes stayed closed and I listened to his heartbeat and smiled. 

I forgot how much I liked him, his presence and his jokes. He made me feel so happy and loved. He told me stories of his nieces and nephews and asked if next time he went up, I would go too. He told me about his sister, how she reminded him of me. He told me about his childhood pet dog, how it was getting old but somehow was still full of life. He described his childhood house and his school and best friends. 

"Sorry, am I boring you with this crap?" He looked so happy telling me about the things he loved. 

"No, not at all." I said dreamily. Truth be told, I could listen to his voice all day and night. 

He smiled at me, stroked my hair and continued.