Long nights and street lights

Pretty please x2

"I know that I love you."

I smiled. Very hard. At first. My smile faded. We'd been together twelve months and I cheated on him during the first month. Obviously not since then, but I still had guilt. I was in two minds about him. I mean I loved him too, but it was a different kind of love, he was more like a brother and friend to me was what I thought. But the truth is, that's the best kind of man. I thought I needed a lover. 

"Come on." He said as he opened the front door. He climbed the ladder, I followed. On the roof he had set out a blanket and candles. My heart melted, what a gentleman. He sat down and waited for me. 

"I'm hungry, can we open those tim tams?" I said after half an hour of deep talks and extreme fits of laughter. 

"Not quite yet." He answered. I was puzzled but continued to talk to him about how the stars made me feel. 

"Okay lets open these tim tams." He said as we sat in silence for the first time. "And here's something I prepared earlier." He got out a thermos full of coffee. I smiled as I watched him pour it into two identical white mugs. "So you gotta try this cool as thing, bite each end of the tim tam and drink the coffee through it. It's so good I swear." 

I laughed and tried it. Unsurprisingly it was delicious. He watched me drink my coffee and I pretended I didn't notice. Before I had finished, I said that I was ready for bed and began to get up. 

"Er how about just a little longer? I want to finish my coffee." I smiled and agreed. 

I wasn't paying much attention, so when I finished my cup, I finished without noticing what was written on the bottom of the cup. I looked up and saw Connor kneeling in front of me. I froze. Looked at the bottom of my mug, then back at him. 

"Aisha, I want my forever to be with you. Please say yes." 

My heart raced at full pelt as I stared at the beautiful ring, that would have cost a fortune, glistening in the moonlight. I was lost for words. He shut the box and began to stand up. He was getting the wrong idea, so I grabbed his hand, pulled him down towards me and kissed him. 

I broke the kiss, gasping for air, I whispered, "Let me think about it." Then I got up, climbed down the ladder and took a walk down the street in the midnight moonlight. 

I didn't need to think about it. I wasn't ready. And my heart even knew that this time. Also, as much as I loved Connor, he almost bored me because he was so perfect. I had to get away. So I walked. I walked to the end of my street, which felt longer than it actually was. My eyes focused solely on the ground I was walking upon and my ears heard only my footsteps.

"Aisha."

I looked up, my eyes slowly adjusting to the dark. When I saw his face, I knew right away this was a mistake. I remembered the note he wrote me. 

"I thought you weren't going to come." 

I almost grimaced. "Yeah well I wasn't gonna. I didn't want to leave you waiting though." 

He smiled. Then frowned. "We need to talk." My heart sank. I came out here to think, to avoid talking. 

"There's nothing to talk about Jake. This needed to stop and we're not starting again."

He almost laughed. "I know what you want. You're bored with Connor, though you don't admit it, but you want him forever, you love his innocence and you don't want to leave because you've never had such a score in your life."

Everything he had said was completely correct. 

"You want fun, you want to live. You want to be young for a little while longer, but he's too boring. He holds you down. You're getting sick of him."

He was once again right. 

"Kiss me." I firmly stated. He grabbed my waist and pushed me to the playground. Where all my innocence began and where it was also lost.