Secrets || larry

Four

"So are you going to break up with El or what?"

I stop making my sandwich and turn around to face Stan. He's sitting at my table and watching me with wide eyes.

"Why would I do that?" I ask him. I did plan on ending it but I never told him that. His cheeks go pink and he looks down at the table, avoiding my curious gaze.

"Because um... I mean we had sex and I thought maybe. Never mind," he squeaks out. I feel guilty as he continues to look anywhere but me. I swallow the lump in my throat and sit next to him, my sandwich forgotten.

"Stan... I don't like you like that. You're my best friend and I never want to jeopardize that," I tell him softly. I reach over and grab his hand, encouraging him to look up at me. He does slowly and his eyes look so sad my heart breaks.

"I understand. Sorry, Louis. This is awkward. I'm going to go," he quickly replies, pulling his hand out of mine. I tell him to stop and stay, but he continues to the door, leaving me home alone.

I close my eyes and try to figure out how to fix whatever just happened. I feel like the worst friend ever. I stand and finish making my sandwich. I try to find my appetite again, but it left with Stan. I put the sandwich in the fridge for Liam and head for my room.

Liam is working till 11 so I still have an hour left to do nothing. I try and call Zayn but his phone is off. I scroll up and down my contacts, no ones name is peaking my interest and I almost give up completely. I stop when I come to the "h's" and click his name.

The phone rings and rings and I'm about to hang up when he finally answers.

"Hello?" his speech is slightly slurred and his voice sounds deeper with intoxication.

"Hi," I reply weakly. I can hear music and people all around him and I feel guilty for calling. I always seem to feel guilty.

"You okay?" he questions worriedly. My heart pounds at his concern. I glance down at my lap and shake my head even though he can't see me.

"No. I ruined everything, H. I ruined my relationship and my friendship and just everything. I'm even ruining your fun night," I complain into the phone. I can hear people getting quieter on the other line and then the noise is gone.

"Don't worry about me. Just let it all out," he tells me, his voice is soft and gentle. I want to cry because no one talks to me like that anymore, not even my mom.

"Okay, so that friend I slept with, yeah they thought we were going to be like together. I haven't even broke up with El yet and I told them I didn't like them... Like that, and it got awkward. I don't want them to hate me and Eleanor is going to hate me," I realize I'm rambling and shut myself up. I can hear H breathing on the other end and I'm worried he fell asleep when he finally answers.

"I don't think your friend will hate you. In fact she'll probably forgive you tonight," he starts. I frown when he says "she". It's not a girl, but I don't think I'm ready to tell him that. To tell anyone that.

"I hope so," I sigh. It goes quiet for awhile longer and I want to talk to him, but he's at a party and he should have fun.

"Hey, H? Go back to your party," I tell him.

"No, I want to make sure you're okay," he replies stubbornly.

"I'm fine, I promise," I assure him. I can't help the giddy smile that forms on my thin lips. He wants to make sure I'm okay. The idea sends butterflies throughout my stomach.

"Oh... Well can we just talk then?" he asks. His voice is so vulnerable, like he's worried I'll tell him no. Pfft, as if.

"Yeah, of course we can," I grin.

"What's your family like?" he asks curiously. I sit back against my headboard and play with the strings on my hoodie.

"They're great. I have four little sisters. They're loveable brats," I chuckle and I hear H do the same. "My mom is amazing and I love her so much and my stepdad is pretty cool." I shrug as I finish, "What about yours?"

"I have an older sister. She's really annoying, but we're close and I love her. My mom is the best and I couldn't ask for better. Robin is a great guy too, I'm happy my mom has him," he states. I assume Robin is his stepdad and I feel comforted knowing that someone else's parents aren't together.

"Tell me a secret?" H blurts out and I hum, letting him know I'm thinking.

"I have a few secrets. I guess my first would be that I'm happy my dad isn't in my life," I tell him honestly. I feel like it's the easiest to share since we were already on the discussion on families.

"Why's that?"

"He was kind of mean. He just wasn't good for my mom or for me. We were both happier when he left," I explain. I know the explanation isn't the best, but it was the best I could do.

"My dad just wasn't around." H tells me. My heart hurts when I hear the sadness in his voice. I would do anything to hug the wonderful stranger. "He left when I was about 1, so I never got to know him. It hurt growing up, but I'm okay with it now."

I can hear in his voice that he's not okay with it. He sounds like he's holding back tears.

"Well it's his loss because you're an amazing, wonderful, kind person," I tell him confidently. I want him to believe the words I tell him.

"You don't know me," he points out.

"Maybe we haven't met, but I do know you and I can't wait until I can say all that to you in person," I admit. My stomach does flips just at the thought of meeting H. I wonder what he looks like? Is he tall or short? Blonde or brunette?

One thing is for sure, no matter what he looks like I'll find him beautiful.

"I hope that's soon. I really want to meet you," he says quietly.

"One day. For now I like the mystery," I say and then I let out a big yawn.

"Tired?" he laughs. I feel my cheeks go pink because I actually just yawned in his ear.

"A little."

"Go to sleep," he instructs and I frown. I still want to talk to him.

"I want to talk to you," I pout. I hear him chuckle at my childish tone, but I don't care.

"I'll talk to you first thing in the morning."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

I hang up the phone and place it next to me on my pillow. I close my eyes as the sound of his voice fills my mind and leads me to sleep.