Mockingjay: What If......

Chapter 18 - Katniss

It's two weeks, and there's still no word from Gale. I'm worried about him. I'm basically under house arrest right now, so maybe there is news but no one has told me. Some people think I killed Coin, so they won't let me go until I can prove my innocence.

I did find out one thing, though. Coin kept her promise to fix Peeta. He came to see me earlier this morning. I didn't talk to him. I'm still not sure if I'm going to tell him about the baby. It might be easier if I don't.

I hear someone open the door, but I turn away. I don't want to see anyone.

"Hey, Catnip."

"Gale!" I run to him and kiss him. Then I get angry. "It's been two weeks, Gale Hawthorne. Two weeks!!!!! Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

He sighs. "I'm sorry, Katniss. There was no way to contact you without blowing my cover."

I hug him. "I'm just glad you're okay. Is Snow...?"

Gale nods. "He's dead. Plutarch killed him, not me. I was just there as backup."

I sigh. "I don't know what I'm going to do about Peeta, Gale. Coin fixed him, but...."

I can see that he understands. "You need to talk to him, Catnip. He's waiting outside."

"I don't know if I can tell him."

"That's up to you, Catnip. You don't have to if you don't want to. Just see how it goes."

I nod and Gale opens the door to let Peeta in.

He immediately tries to apologize. "Katniss, I'm so sorry, I-'

"I don't want to hear it, Peeta," I say coldly.

He looks crushed. "Katniss, you have to understand. That wasn't me. I would never do something like that to you."

I shake my head. "Maybe you wouldn't, but you can't deny that you wanted to."

Peeta looks stricken. Gale is standing behind him looking slightly confused.

"Katniss, you know I would never do that!"

"You did, though."

"I told you, that wasn't me!"

"It was you. It doesn't matter if you were hijacked. It was still you."

I can see how much I'm hurting him, but I don't feel bad. He deserves this. Because there's no way Coin just randomly came up with that plan. I know that, however well he hid it, a part of Peeta wanted what he got.

"Katniss-"

"Leave," I say. He starts to protest, but Gale gives him a look and he heads out.

"Peeta-" He looks back at me. I almost tell him, but I don't. I can't. So I just say goodbye.

"I'm sorry. I just can't forgive you right now. I need time. Maybe.... Maybe one day.... But not now."

Peeta nods and walks out the door. I wipe a tear off of my cheek and look at Gale.

"I'm sorry, Catnip. I know that must have been hard for you."

"I just- I never thought- Peeta- He's not that kind of person. The hardest part of this is the fact that he always hid that part of himself from me."

"People change, Katniss. Both you and Peeta have changed a lot since the games. The only difference is that you've changed for the better and Peeta's changed for the worse."

I think of something. "Did you mean what you said before? About supporting me?"

Gale's expression softens. "Of course I did. I'll always be here for you, Katniss. No matter what."

I begin to cry. Gale hugs me tightly. "I know you're upset, Catnip. I know you're scared. That's okay. When bad things happen, sometimes you just have to bear the pain. For a while it might seem like the pain will never go away. You wish you could just forget. But in the end, everything will be fine."

"How do you know?" I ask.

Gale smiles. "Because I'm standing here with you, and you aren't pulling away. You aren't here with me because you pity me, you're here because you love me. Your love is all I need."

I realize he's right. I don't need to pity myself. I've lost so much, but not everything. I still have Gale, and he loves me. 

And that's enough.

Hi guys! I know this chapter is short, but I'm getting ready to end this book, because I'm pretty much out of things to write about. There will be an epilouge, which should be coming out sometime in the next week. Thanks for reading!

-Katrina