You Are Mine [ManXBoy] BOOK 1

Thirty: Shutdown

Ethan's POV:

What's  life by the way?

Bakit pa ako humihinga? . Coz I don't  know why I'm  still here in this world.  This place was all shit anyway.

I want to see him again. I found  life when I met him.

If it takes them to call me gay... for him I AM GAY.

I fucking missed him and it's  been 2 years from now.  My life was all shit,  messed up and ruined.  I do drugs,  and deal it . I became a gang leader,  made fights and scarred others lives. 

Wala na akong natitirang respeto sa aking ina, hindi na niya ako mapagsabihan coz when she does,  I threatened her. 

I still respect nanay and tatay dahil alam nila kung bakit ako nagkaganito.  Good thing they never meddle.  And when I entered the house on shit,  inaalagaan nila ako not asking anything  about it.

My mother  was still here,  because of me as her living goddamn egg shit. I became her black sheep in and out of jail doing  everything  she can to keep  me safe.  Pfft. She's  a hardheaded bitch.

I know  where he is.  Tracked everything by a professional hired person. I wanted to go to him but I can't knowing  he's  happy now living with Christian.

I was looking at the pictures na binigay sa akin ng lalaki na hinire ko to look up for him.  He was so happy with this guy at a park together with  Christian and his husband while Nathaniel  grown up now holding a cat.

Pinunit ko ang  larawan and shouted.  It fucking hurts. I sobbed so much.  I'm  in deep hell of state.  I wanted to die.  I don't  want to live seeing myself been into an abyss of emotions .

What just kept me holding on were nanay and tatay telling me na there's still hope.  

It's  bullshit but I can't stop myself from dreaming again of being with him. Again.

I drowned myself with liquor. Nasa isang bar ako na pagmamay ari ng aking ina.  It's  past 2 am and I want to get laid. 

Someone caught my attention.

" riri? ". I approached  him.

" excuse me?  Magkakilala ba tayo?. And who's riri?."

I walked away from him at tumungo palabas.  Nabigla ako ng may mga body guard. They were from my mother  at nakaugalian nilang kunin ako since when I get drunk,  I tend to do something  illegal and severe damages.

" don't you fucking lay your hands on me" I told one of the bodyguards .

I hopped in the car and we went home.

My life was bored as shit

  
Nasa kwarto ako, fully messed kasi no one dares to enter my room.  Broken glass,  wine bottles  and picture frames.  I also have paintings. 

Kinukunan ko siya ng litrato noong andito pa siya.  I decided to paint it. I hang my paintings of him to the wall. Kahit man lang sa paggising ko siya yung makita ko.  I want to engulf myself to his presence.  Hindi ko kayang di siya makita.  Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko.  Everyday,  I'm  still thinking of him.  I want him.  I want to feel his skin on me.  If he decided to come back to me,  I'll  swear if anyone dares to separate us  i will murder them.  I'll  prison Riri if takes him not to stay away from me.  He's  my drug I can't  resist.

I saw my mom entered my room,  with all her bitch grace and flaunt that I loathed.

"Why the fuck are you here?! ". I shouted her.