Snapchat || S.M.

Chapter 36

...-" Are those...?" He was pointing at my scars, my back and neck were full of scratch marks and scars from burns.

-" My father" I nodded.
-" Oh god" He whispered before I felt his lips on my neck. Just stayed there. Chills went down my spine as Shawn pulled me towards him, wrapping arms around me from the back. My head under his chin.

Peaceful silence taking over the room.
-" You really are a hugger" I laughed, breaking it of course.
-" Cherish the moment and let me love you, you little cunt"
-" Oh god" I just smiled.
This is actually all I want, being in someones arms, feeling safe, feeling like I belong there.

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Shawn had to go in like two hours. I'm gonna miss him so much. I can't even explain how much he means to me. I depend on him. We were literally hugging all day.

His arms still wrapped around me, I went to kiss his cheek.

SHIT.

He did the same. Our lips met. I didn't know what to do but I sure didn't break the kiss.

I knew he feels the same. When we finally separated I just stared in his eyes for a while. Then stepped away.
-"What..." he started.
-" I'm sorry, I can't" I interrupted him, my eyes starting to water because I did love him.
-" Wha-why?"
-" This friendship is all I have to live for. I don't wanna break it" I quickly answered.
-" One does not exclude the other"
-" Yes it does, at first no, but after that..."
-" I'm sorry, I thought you feel the same..." Before he finished I spoke up.
-" I do love you" I said exhaling and uncomfortably staring at the side, avoiding eye contact and rubbing my mouth.

He looked at me quickly.
-" I just..." I started to cry, I would never hurt or reject him.
He loudly exhaled, in disappointment I guess.
-" Can you just wait?"
He nodded.
-" I'm not ready, and the time will tell if it's a smart idea"
-"Of course" he said rubbing my shouler.
I responded the same.
-" I'm gonna miss you"
I wanted to break the awkwardness but I think I just made it worse.
-" We have two more hours"
-" I know, we should, like, go somewhere?" He said in a questioning tone.
-" Wanna go for a walk?" We were still a bit shocked because of the previous moment.
-" Yea- yeah" Shawn said while taking his phone and pointing at the door.
We walked for almost an hour and the most of it was silence, but not as awkward as I thought it would be.
He gets me. I know he does.