melting [pearlet]

e i g h t e e n

VIOLET

   THE only reason I let Pearl go was because I couldn't see his mom cry like that. Deep in my heart I feel like his mom truly loves him, but I question his father.

I know it was problematic of me to do so with his whole family situation. He had to go home one way or another. Pearl can't stay at my house forever, but for some gut wrenching feeling I feel like I shouldn't have kicked him out. Pearl is in a battle with himself and is losing. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. Should I have let him go? Was it the wrong or right thing?

   I lay on my messy bed motionless, staring at the picture leaning against the wall across the room. It stares at me back, my own reflection.

My phone as always interrupts my thoughts. Trixie's nasally voice is on the other end.

"I'm coming over."

Off guard I reply, "Ummm, alright?"

"See you in ten." He says before hanging up.

I get up from my bed and make it. I change out of my pajamas into casual clothes. Before I know it Trixie is ringing on my doorbell. He doesn't just do it once, oh no. He's one of the people to do it repeatedly until you answer the door.

   "Honey who is it? Is it Pearl?" My mom calls out from her bedroom.

   "No." I tell her opening the door for Trixie.

   "We need to talk." Trixie barges through the door without me inviting him in.

   "Uh...okay?" I furrow my eyebrows as I close the door.

   Trixie sits down on my couch before asking, "So why did you kick Pearl out?"

   "He had to go home sooner or later. And I couldn't see his mom cry like that."

   "You don't understand, Pearl's mom isn't crying because she misses him. She wants him home so she doesn't have to be miserable alone. His mom wants Pearl to feel the pain she does so she's not the only one depressed. She doesn't care about him. No one in that little apartment does."

   I've made a mistake.

"Trixie you need to leave." I demand, opening the door.

"Isn't that what you said to Pearl?" Trixie cocks his head as he gets up from my couch to the door.

"Just go."

He shakes his head before lingering out the door, slamming it.

I get up, and sprint to the kitchen to find $10.00 on the counter. I don't know who it belongs to but I take it. I shove it quickly into my pocket crumpling the money and running out the door.

It's more than enough for a cab. I call out for one. An old man, heavily bearded pulls up next to me, letting me inside.

"Where you go?" His thick Italian accent makes it hard for me to understand him, but I manage.

I direct him to Pearl's house.

"No no a left!" I say, pointing to the left.

"Yes this is left!" He yells at me, making a right instead.

"You went the wrong way!" I compose myself and start talking in a more quiet voice, "Sir, you went the wrong way. I'm trying to tell you where to go but you're not listening."

"You can drive this taxi yourself then! Leave if you don't like my driving."

As I'm about to get out the man locks the car.

"You need to pay first."

"Are you kidding me? You're the worst taxi driver I've ever met."

"Pay up." He holds his hand out, looking me dead in the eyes. I cave in, giving him all ten dollars. It's really 8.50 but I don't want to spend a second longer in this car.

I step out into the New York streets. I walk down the pavement making my way to Pearl's. As soon as I see it in the distance my heart skips a beat. It's cold out but I'm sweating like crazy.

I run up the stairs to his apartment. I give the door a small knock. No answer. I knock a little harder. No answer. I can hear Pearl's voice inside, but he's not answering the door.

I then hear footsteps. I can hear breathing right behind the door. Then more footsteps backing up. I guess he saw me through the peephole it was me.

I go home, defeated. I messed up big time.