melting [pearlet]

e l e v e n

PEARL

I LIKE him, god I hate this feeling. A feeling of showing true and genuine emotion towards someone, it's frightening. Commitment is frightening.

"Pearl? What's wrong?" Trixie asks.

I zoned out for a minute.

I shake my head, snapping out of it, "Well, I told Violet. I said he was the only one that knew." I start rubbing my back, trying to ease the pain.

   "Let me see."

   "No."

   "Pearl..." He grabs my hand firmly, "Lift up your shirt."

   I give in and surrender, I lift up my white t-shirt, revealing the hues of black and blue marks up and down my back. There's some red accents mixed in there from the cuts.

"So when are you gonna tell someone?" Trixie looks at me anxiously.

"What do you mean? I've told you and Violet."

"I mean the authorities or something. They have hotlines for people in your situation."

"I don't want to, I'm too scared."

"Pearl I'm serious. You need help, if this goes any further you might kill yourself! I can't let that happen."

"I'm not gonna kill myself. Don't get your tits in a bunch. Right when I leave college I'm moving out. College is less than a year away."

"It's difficult to get a job after college that'll pay for an apartment, especially in New York."

"You're right, I don't wanna live on people's couches. I can maybe ask Violet if I could crash at his place. Just until I get a job."

"Pearl, you've known him for a few months. Come live with me."

"Trixie, you're not even wanted at your home. You think your parents are gonna let me stay at your place?"

I should've never said that. A wave of guilt overcomes me as Trixie puts his head in his hands.

   He lifts his head up, "Shut up, just shut up Pearl!"

   He mumbles to himself throwing a rock, "I'm a fucking Trixie I know. I know, I know, I know. I act too feminine for my fucking step dad's liking." He throws another one at the bench in front of us.