melting [pearlet]

e p i l o g u e

VIOLET

FIVE YEARS LATER

TODAY'S the five year anniversary of Pearl's death. Everyday has been a battle since then and I miss him more everyday. Not a day goes by where I don't think of him, but I've pushed through.

Pearl's mother finally left his father, and she's been doing better than ever. I talked to her a little at the funeral a few years ago and she told me about how she's leaving him. A few weeks ago she ran into me and told me about her great new job and magnificent new boyfriend who treats her well. That's the only times we've talked.

That's great and all, but doesn't she still feel that little emptiness we all do without him? His warmth, his smile, his laugh, his kind words, any of it? I miss it all everyday.

   Sometimes I want closure, wanting to know if he forgives me and if he did or didn't hate me before his passing. But I feel his presence around me constantly. I feel him there guiding me through obstacles and tough decisions. I know he's there and watching over me like a guardian angel. A lot of the time, that's all I need to know.

I still love him, and my love for him will never die no matter what happens in the future. I can't stop, he's still apart of me and always will be.

I'm currently at NYU majoring in theatre arts. In the future I'm planning on starting a foundation for victims of child abuse. Hoping to help kids and teens like Pearl to get out of their situation.

   Life is good for me right now, my friends and I from high school are still close, I'm in college, my mom and I's relationship is as stronger as ever. It's all great.

Every year all of my friends get together to put flowers, pictures, candles, and some of Pearl's belongings on his cross on the side of the road where he passed. It's our little tradition. It's hard, but it's for him. In his honor.

   As I drive down the road and park my car on the grass, I spot Fame, Trixie, Max, and Katya.

"Hey Vi!" Trixie calls out waving me down.

I stumble over to them with my arms open ready for a hug. We all hug for a moment, sniffling and trying to hold back tears. We pat each other on the back and start to put the items on the cross.

As we finish his little memorial, I put a big framed picture of the Pearl in the middle. He looks happy, he has his big goofy smile on with his signature gray sweatshirt and messy hair. His eyes look as green as ever. They're practically beaming in this picture. This was the Pearl I remember. I shed a tear and smile as I gaze over the picture in awe. I hope he's happy up there, I truly do.

We all hold each other's hand as we stand next to each other admiring the memorial.

"I miss him so much." Trixie says before bursting out into tears hugging Katya. They're engaged now.

We all hug and say our goodbyes as everyone parts their ways to their cars, trying not to burst in tears. They all end up anyways as soon as they leave. Me and someone else stay behind for a few minutes.

"Are you ready to go babe?" I hear a quiet, shaky voice ask.

I turn to Fame and nod, wiping a tear. I grab his hand and kiss him on the cheek before laying my head on his shoulder as we walk to my car.

I'm sure it's what Pearl would've wanted, for me to be happy.