melting [pearlet]

t e n

VIOLET
*Trigger warning - Abusive and Suicidal Language*

PEARL invited me over.

"Hey." He breathes out heavily opening the door, "Come in." He waves.

"So what is it you wanted to show me?"

   He closes the door behind him, then leans against it. "It's in my room, follow me."

   He shuffles through the short hallway, leading me into his room. I sit on the messy bed. "I've been hiding something from you Vi."

   "Pearl...What is it?"

   His eyes are bloodshot, I can tell he's shaken. I'm preparing myself for the worst. He slides open the closet door, grabbing a black leather journal off of the shelf. It's dusty, with pages flooding in between the leather backs.

   He hands it to me, his emotions unreadable.

   I open the first page.

   March 3rd

   I'm tired. Emotionally and physically. My back is sore from the cord. I try going to sleep after what had happened, but tears flow down my cheeks, staining my pillow.

March 31st

I haven't written anything in a while. I've been too busy trying to heal or hide my cuts and bruises. What did I do to deserve this? The emotional strain is aching.

I look up to him, concerned. I furrow my eyebrows at the pages and keep reading.

April 10th

I'm tired, I'm tired of it. The beatings, the verbal abuse, everything. There's no sympathy from him the morning after he hits me or tries to strangle me. After a long night of drinking, he doesn't know what he's doing. At least he knows I'm there, I don't think my mom knows I exist.

After reading that entry, I see a tears swelling up in his eyes, but he blinks them away.

May 1st

I just wanna end it all. The multiple scars on my wrists have teachers and students concerned. I was sent to the guidance counselor. I wouldn't talk, I was too afraid. He would've known. He would've hit harder.

I read this one out loud,

May 11th

I tried pills, but I couldn't go through with it. Too many things to see, too many people I haven't met yet. I know this is temporary and I'll move out soon, but I just can't deal.

"I'm happy I never went through with it, I wouldn't have met you." Pearl sobs wiping away a tear.

Matt seemed the most happy, but he was the most broken.

   I read the last entry, just last month he wrote this.

   October 21st

   I wanted to finish high school. I wanted to go to college then move out, never having to look back at that little apartment. But since meeting Violet, I'm not in a rush to finish high school. I'd do anything to see Violet, even go through these hurdles.

   My heart feels like it stopped. A hard lump develops in my throat. Pearl makes my heart ache, in a good way.

   "Pearl...does anyone else know?"

   He shakes his head, folding his hands behind his back.

   I throw down the journal, scooting towards him. I go in for a deep hug. I feel the wet tears drop on my shoulder as he sobs. Pearl's angry at the world, I know he is. And he will never stop until he leaves his home. How can he call it a home? Home is about love, and there's no love where he's living.

"I was once depressed and suicidal," He says between tears, "But since meeting you, my whole world has changed."

I don't know how to fix him, or if I can. I know I helped him a little, but it won't get the job done. The only person who can really fix Pearl is Pearl.

   He crawls into his bed. Stretching himself, taking the whole bed up. He had one hand under his head. He stares at the ceiling before asking, "Violet?"

   "Yes?"

   He snickers, "Do you think Jasmine looks like a horse or a lizard?"

   I throw a pillow at him, he laughs even harder at the joke.

   He gets up from the bed, playing with his hair. He stumbles over to me before embracing me in a hug from behind.

   "You're ridiculous." I chuckle.

   "Everyone tells me that." He nods his head giggling.