a Thursday afternoon 3:33pm
I don't remember the exact date, but what I could only get from it was disappointment. I won't make this a direct entry, instead I'd like for others to relate to this. Without a specific topic.
A description of this feeling will be surrounded by multiple experiences. You could say I've experienced this specific brain and chest destroyer a bit. But I won't expose the full stories, because there are familiars that read this.
Let's just say that it's the dread you get when not receiving the expected answer or maybe it's the feeling you get when you earn something but it doesn't reach your expectations.
It's like dropping your ice cream cone into a lake rather than onto the cement, because this feeling sucks that much.
This feeling could probably be similar to being home alone with nothing to do while the sun shines brightly and the weather is actually decent for once.
Or maybe it's when you label yourself as the second choice, but then realize you should be grateful for all you have.
This feeling consists of heavy chests and dry eyes. It may be all just an illusion but you can't help but feel it all. Its an unfinished piece of work that could have looked pretty damn good if you had just finished it. It's about listening to everyone else but not having anyone else listen to you for once.
It's basically a let down, disappointment, unsatisfied, incomplete, and an annoying feeling.
I wouldn't label it as depression, maybe just sadness you feel when you're alone or as people call it "antisocial". But I don't really find anything bad in keeping to yourself a lot. I think it's better than surrounding yourself with lovely people that will someday leave you anyway. But it won't matter because you've already been alone too many times to feel unfamiliar with it.
I'm swerving off track though, lately I haven't had anything too interesting to put into words. I've warned everyone reading this that it'll be quite boring. But if you're still reading this then I guess you may have found something to relate to.
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