A Tuesday afternoon 12:19pm
This may be the first time in this book's small history where I have written an entry in public. Not to mention that I have about only ten minutes left of this class I am currently and very depressingly seated in. I'm not sure what I want to show you but I had a sudden urge to just let everything slip into words.
The feeling isn't exactly the most pleasant, I'll assure you on that. And to whoever is reading this, why are you still reading it. I think I may have reached rock bottom with how sad I am able to feel about everything.
I'm sure those around me probably have the mind to think I am texting something extremely interesting. When in reality I'm reminiscing over happier times and regretting certain decisions.
On that note, this whole book is a fail and heavy weight of emotions that range of shitty events. Everyone mentioned in this book have had their own faults and unexplainable influence over how I feel everyday. I can easily say that I both hate and admire every person currently written into this book.
I still hope negativity to hit them all for how they have made me turn out. Selfishly, and I realize how bad it is of me to do this, I blame all of them.
I blame them all for my insecurities and lack of self esteem. I blame them all for the worthless voice inside of my head. I blame them all for the hate I have for myself and I blame them all for never making me feel better.
I'll hold back on the profanity I desire to spit out. But the anger that just seems to overflow has my sights blurring and my throat contracting. I hate everything and everyone. They have all let me down.
You must either pity me or have some unexplainable hate towards me at the moment. I won't limit you to how you're supposed to feel. Because you're all feeling a certain way for a reason. And now I am only explaining myself.
I think it'd be best to be alone, and although I hated those people who suddenly leave those around them. I can finally understand why. I don't think I'll need any friendship, love or familiarity any longer. It's best to stay away from things that hurt you more than they make you feel good.
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