a Thursday afternoon 2:57pm
I cried last night, well not exactly last night but Wednesday night and I had forgotten to write about it. I had realized how much I had been holding my sadness and stress inside. It was when I had took a seat beside my mother and rested my head onto my forearms, exhaustion piled onto me in slow and heavy waves and I only felt bored.
She was obviously concerned, voice on the edge of soft she asked me what was wrong and I could only bring myself to tell her that I was tired. I now understand how most feel when they don't want to express certain things and can only depend on the word "tired".
I didn't know what was wrong or what needed fixing. I just knew I didn't feel right.
She told me to get some rest when my eyes had begun to well up with cold rain. Not wanting to display my sadness I instead found my way towards my sisters bedroom. Once entering she instantly, somehow, knew I was a bit off.
Sitting up quickly she had once more asked what was wrong, I could only describe my cluelessness. Moving to lay at the end of her bed I busied myself with a smart phone but I didn't bother holding in the liquid that had created itself.
With soft sobs that I did not recognize myself, her embrace instantly tamed the chaotic mess in my head. It was like taking a fresh inhale of breath of having someone care enough to listen. I stopped crying with feeling and instead felt my face become wet with tears without any pain or ache in my chest.
I don't know what caused this sudden sadness. And I knew it wasn't depression or any of the sort. But the word that caught my attention was when she asked me if I was unsatisfied.
It was the only thing closest to the feeling that settled.
I was extremely unsatisfied with every small thing.
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