Chapter 29
Kelly's Point Of View
Pumasok ako sa kwarto ko kung nasaan si Suzy habang dala-dala ang isang baso ng tubig, dito siya pinatuloy ni kuya kanina nung iniwan niya ito para manigarilyo. She was sobbing hard, burying her face from her palms as she is sitting at the edge of my bed.
As she heard the door clicked close, she lifted her gaze to meet mine. I felt guilty when I saw how vulnerable she looked tonight. Her makeup is ruined by her streaming tears; her lipstick is smudged, and her eyeliner is leaking black below her eyes. If I may be honest, she looked hideous and ugly, malayong malayo sa perfectionist at maarteng Suzy na kilala ng lahat.
Nawala ang lahat ng tatag niya nang makita ako. Right in front of me is a weak girl. She looked so fragile and breakable, yung konting tulak niya na lang ay matutumba na siya kaagad.
I felt pity, which is unexpected and out of the blue because if I look back, I looked as frail as her during her reigning days. I'm not supposed to feel compassion towards her after all she did to me, to us.
Pero kahit na ipagpilitan ko sa sarili ko kung gaano siya ka-demonyo, it's understandable that she's still a human. Alam kong may rason siya sa mga pinanggagawa niya. It may be misguided, pero lahat ng tao ay nagkakamali rin. Tatanggapin ko ang mga kasalanan niya, pero hindi ko alam kung kaya ko siyang patawarin. She left me deep wound.
I walked towards her as I fetched my comb from the vanity table. I climbed to the bed and positioned myself behind her to brush her hair gently. She didn't react to my gesture; she just sat there, quietly crying herself out.
"Inumin mo muna yung tubig." Mahinang sabi ko sa kanya habang sinusuklay ko ang buhok niyang magulo dala ng pagdurusa niya. Hindi siya kumilos kaya ako na mismo ang tumayo para kunin ang tubig mula sa mesa. Tinignan niya muna ang baso bago ito tinanggap para tutukan ulit.
I sighed, and went behind her again to continue my job; comforting her.
I can't believe I'm actually soothing this lady. Kung hindi lang siguro kay kuya ay kanina ko pa pinalayas ang babeng to sa kwarto ko. In fact, hindi ko sana siya pinapasok dito, baka mahawa ako sa germs niya.
"Just so you know," she said between her sobs after she sip from the glass. "I won't be apologizing to you, or to Kate or to Jazzella, or to anyone."
I rolled my eyes, not even sure of what I should answer. "Yeah, yeah. Make yourself happy." Wala na akong maggawa kung sadyang matigas talaga ang ulo niya. It's not like I'm asking for it though.
We fell into silence again. Kalmado na siya ngayon pero humihumikbi pa rin. She must be reflecting father's words. Alam kong tagos na tagos sa dibdib ang sinabi niya, especially galing ito sa ama ng lalaking gusto mo. Ano nga ba ang kaya niyang gawin para mapasaya ang kuya ko? Everyone knows kuya shows a little interest to her. Hindi ko alam kung narealize ba yun ni Suzy o hindi, pero minsan niya lang ito pinagbigyan pansin. Akala ko noon na napilitan lang si kuya na samahan si Suzy. Turns out, he really is forced.
"Why?" I asked silently, placing a strand of her bangs behind her ear. "Why do you have to hurt people?"
Hindi ko alam kung narinig niya ba ang tanong ko, hindi kasi siya sumagot. Nanatili lang sa unahan ang titig niya. "Sadista ka ba? Does it entertain you seeing others suffer? Hindi ko alam kung makakaya kong patawarin ka Suzy, pagkatapos ng lahat. Of course heavy wounds tend to leave scars. Mine happens to be a lot."
I stopped on my tracks when I noticed her shoulders shaking up and down. She's crying again. I hope she realizes her mistakes; it can free her from her faults. Hindi ko to ginagawa para tulungan siya, gusto ko lang siyang gisingin sa realidad na hindi niya pag-aari ang buhay ng isang tao. Wala siyang karapatang bigyan ng pagdurusa ang mga mahina.
