Wherever You Are || L.H.

XIII

It's been three years since Luke left. Three fucking years and there's not a single day that I don't think about him. I still have Mr. Cuddles, the necklace and our photo booth pictures but they're all in my moving boxes. Yeah I'm moving well, I going to college. UCL (University College London) to be precise, I was really surprised and happy when my letter came in the mail.

I've always wanted to study in London and now I get the opportunity to do so. Going off to uni. Right after high school is very scary and actually even before the end of high school. I don't know why I'm being sent to UCL before the end of high school but I could care less, I just want to leave this small ass city as soon as possible. I promised myself that if I ever get the opportunity to leave this city I would and that's what I'm planning to do now.

I'm turning 18 in a week and then I'm leaving to London the following week after that. Miranda and I planned a this huge party and now all we have to do is wait. Speaking of Miranda, Harry and her broke up because he moved back to Cheshire, sophomore year (Year 10). Miranda was devastated and it reminded me an awful lot of a situation that I had found myself in before. That's how we became even more close.

And exactly last year we couldn't believe our eyes. Harry was in a boy band, like in a legit boy band. Miranda was so surprised when we saw him on MTV. Miranda's parents, knowing it was Harry, got her two tickets to a One Direction concert. They gave them to her last week as an early birthday present. The best part is they got her VIP passes and so, she gets to meet them (and she'll get to see Harry). Although she didn't seem as excited as I thought she would be.

Luke called me the day after he left but I didn't answer. I wasn't mad, I was full aware of the time difference, and I was in all five senses but, I couldn't bring myself to answer. He called me and texted me everyday for months but I never replied or answered, that's until he finally lost all hope of me ever replying and stopped completely.

In those few months of his constant calling I realized something that I should've become aware of before: I was in love with Luke Robert Hemmings. Yeah I know what I said before about love but it was when I was fourteen and now I'm seventeen. I know what love is and it's what I keep feeling even up to this very day. He invades my everyday thoughts and he's everywhere I go, even when I know that he's not really there. It also made me realize the real reason why I didn't answer Luke's phone call that day; it was because deep inside I knew that this was never going to work and my love for him was going to end up killing me inside.

"Julie," my mom said looking into my room. "Dinner's ready."

"Yeah." I nodded and popped in my earbud. Arctic Monkeys blasted in my earphone once I pressed play on my phone.

Most of my friends said that I became very distant after Luke left and so, I went to Michelle for advice and asked her why I had become so distant. She said that I closed myself off from people because I wasn't ready to come back yet. That I was still in a bit of a shock mode and that sometime soon, I'd be ready. She was right because a month later I was back to normal, well sort of, that's because I became attached to music: addicted.

I walked down stairs and over to the kitchen area. Last year after begging and begging, my mom finally agreed to move and so we did. I couldn't take living in that house any longer. Every time I'd come home from school, that house seemed to be laughing at me; telling me that I'd never see Luke again and that he was gone forever. It was a constant reminder of those wonderful days with Luke as well as the dark days like the day he had to leave.

My mom was already seated at the table with my sisters and I'm guessing that they were waiting on me. We all sat in silence as we began to eat.

After dinner I walked back to my room and pulled out my phone. Nothing. I opened up my messages app. I scrolled through my contacts and stopped on Luke. Should I? Why would he want to message you anyway? I shook my head and threw my phone on my bed.