Make a Wish|| G. Gustin

BONUS #3

Grant and I jump up and cheer as the curtains close on Dawn and the rest of her cast. Her first ever Broadway show, and she is only twelve years old. We temporarily moved to New York about three months ago, not just for Dawn's show but because Grant was filming a movie out here. I look over at Grant and see a few tears run down his cheeks.

He's so proud of our daughter. So am I. Grant's dad and brother are standing a few seats down from Grant, whistling and crying. Candice stands next to me, just balling her eyes out. 

The theater clears out a bit and we all make our way backstage to find Dawny. Kayce, who wrote the play, meets us in lobby. As soon as I look at her my stomach drops. Her eyes are full of worry and tears threaten to fall from her mascara covered lashes. 

"What's wrong," Grant asks worried. Before Kayce answers, my motherly instincts kick in and I start running towards the green room. Grant trails not far behind me. Bursting into the green room I see the sight I have feared since I found out I was pregnant with her. Dawn lays passed out on the floor, sweat covering her face and dampening her clothes. Kayce runs into the room and tells me that the paramedics are on their way. 

I sit down next to my child and see that her nose is bleeding. A sob cuts out from my throat as I wipe the blood with my sleeve. "S-she told me that she didn't feel well," I say between sobs. "I told her that it was just nerves because this was her first Broadway show." 

An hour later Grant and I are in a waiting room, not Vancouver General but a New York hospital that I have never been to before. Grant stares into nothingness, placidity on his face. I don't look at him. Instead I just speak into the air. 

"I'm so sorry Grant."

He doesn't move.

"You knew this would happen and I told you that it wouldn't. I told you that you deserved better than me when I was going to die. You convinced me otherwise. Well now I know that it's true because you do deserve someone who can give you a child that isn't going to die of cancer. I'm so sorry.

"Please just talk to me Cupcake. Please I know what you're going through, just-"

"You have no idea what I am going through!"

I sit shocked at his sudden outburst. I have never seen him this angry, nor have I ever heard his voice have such an abhorrence to it. He continues, his voice a little quieter but still angrier than the devil. 

"I had to sit and watch you deteriorate into almost nothing. And then you wrote me a letter that told me what to do when you died. Not once had you given me any reassurance that you were going to live, NOT ONCE! Do you know what that does to a person, Mare? Knowing that the love of your life is going to die and that you will never see them again? Dammit Mare you didn't even let me say goodbye to you! You said 'I'll see you later'! You very well could have went cold on that table and I would have never forgave myself for it. You ruined me. I hated you for it. But I loved you so much that I was willing to stay and watch you die. Now our child may die and all you can say is 'I'm sorry I gave our child cancer.' You have no idea what I am going through. You think I want to see our daughter's hair fall out and her eyes turn red and puffy? You think I want to see her die in front of me like her mother almost did!? 

"You ruined me," he repeats. Grant then goes back into his state of blankness. People are staring at us from around the room. I get up and leave the lobby in search for Candice. I find her sitting outside in the chilly air. I sit next to her and start balling. 

"What happened?" She asks in a scared tone. I can't respond right away for I am hyperventilating. When I finally get my breath back I respond in a sobbing voice. 

"He blames me Candi. He blames me for everything. I- I-"

I can't really bring myself to say the next part. I take a deep breath and then start to sob again. "I don't think he loves me anymore."

I hear Candice gasp. "Marybeth Gustin, listen to yourself. You and Grant are the only couple I know that don't have fights on a weekly basis; you have an amazing daughter, who may not even have cancer we don't know yet; and you have managed to overcome death himself and it didn't even put a dent in your relationship."

"Yeah that's what I thought too, that is until he told me that I ruined him."

"He's mourning, Mare. He didn't mean any of it."

Before I can protest my phone buzzes. 

Grant:

Doctor wants to see us.

****

A/N: CLIFFHANGER MUCH??? I'm evil gosh! But would I really kill a kid? Well if you have red my other books you know the answer is yes oops. 

Anyways we are at 3K!!!! TYSM!

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