The Mentalist - What if?

Prologue

Disclaimer: i dont own The Mentalist or any of it's characters. First bit of dialogue is taken from the episode. Everything else is my own. I've been toying with the idea of this fic for weeks but it will not leave me alone so i'm gonna go for it and post.

What if Teresa Lisbon's breakdown in the middle of the CBI squad room wasnt because she was drugged or set up for murder? What if the truth was something more upsetting and the only person to keep her safe and protected was her consultant, Patrick Jane?

In the middle of the squad room, Teresa Lisbon was been watched by everyone in her unit; everyone that looked up to her as a superior, everyone that cared about her as a friend and colleague. Despite her agitated state, she was determined to take some control back from the situation; been accused of murder had tipped her over the edge into a mental breakdown with the huge secret she was hiding.

"Okay, I'm all right. I'm fine." She says as everyone in the office looks at her. "What the hell is everybody looking at?" She now shouted. "I...I'm fine. Just stay the hell away from me. I'm done with this crap. I am done."

Finally snapping, she stormed down the stairs, pushing her way through Wayne Rigsby and Kimball Cho.

"Get out of my way. I'm sick of everybody." She yells as she runs to her office. She's aware that everybody is watching as she storms up and down her office, trying to control some of her emotions.

"Who was that? Lisbon?" Patrick Jane asks as he entered the squadroom, holding a cup of tea in his hand.

"She's freaking out." Rigsby interrupted.

As Jane went to reply, a chair came flying through her office window, narrowly missing everyone it's a path, glass shattering everywhere; instantly, Jane ran to her side. The rest of the team waiting outside as Cho told everyone to get back to work; Jane knew the case was getting to her but he had underestimated just how much.

"Lisbon, it's okay; it's just me here" Jane said softly, trying to keep her calm; he'd guided her to seat on the sofa and knelt in front of her, her hands in his. "Take a deep breath, listen to my voice; there's just me and you here, no one else."

Slowly, her anger receded and her breathing evened out; passing her the bottle of water of her desk, he helped her to take some with her shaking hands.

"Hey, let's take you home" he suggested, quietly.

She nodded without hesitation or protest; she knew she'd be in trouble over the shattered window and for how she had spoke to her boss but in that moment, she didnt care. Helping her to stand, Jane wrapped her jacket around her shoulders before guiding her out; Lisbon kept her eyes focused on the floor, unable to make eye-contact with any of her colleagues, until they reached the parking lot.

Within thirty minutes, she was sat on her sofa, a blanket around her shoulders as Jane handed her a cup of tea and sat next to her; as she drank the liquid, he gently rested a hand on the bottom of her back in an effort to keep her calm.

"Feel better?" He asked as she placed the cup on the table and leant against the back of the sofa.

As if a switch had been flipped in her brain, she finally realised she was no longer in her office; she hadnt said a word since her outburst. Then it hit her, she had insulted everyone she worked with; she'd damaged state property and embarrassed herself in the process. She groaned and leant forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she put her head in her hands, her dark hair cascading over her face; seeing her panic once more, Jane instantly rubbed her back, trying to offer some reassurance.

"You're fine; you're at home and you're safe" he said, softly.

Groaning again, she began to feel nauseous; she hadnt eaten since breakfast and as she recalled, she didnt even finish the meal. She quickly ran through to her ensuite where as soon as she dropped to her knees, she began vomitting; she was acutely aware of Jane standing in the doorway but in that moment, she didnt care.

"I have some water" he offered, holding the bottle out to her.

When she didnt take it, he set it down on the floor next to her before disappearing; by the time she was finished, he still hadnt returned. As she dragged herself from the bathroom, intending to crawl into bed and stay there for as long as she possibly could, she noticed he was sat on the sofa; blinking away the tears, she sat next to him as he wrapped a blanket around her after noticing her body starting to shiver.

"You should get some sleep" he suggested.

"Why are here?" She asked.

"Something's bothering you; you need...you want to tell someone but you dont know how"

"I'm fine" she whispered, unconvincingly.

"Sure you are; it's not just this case that's getting to you. We all know you're innocent and the team are proving it right now; something else tipped you over the edge. Something big and life changing; something that you're scared of everyone finding out in case they treat you differently..." he analysed.

"Stop reading me"

"Lisbon...talk to me; i'm your friend. I want to help..."

"You cant..." she sighed as she stood. "Show yourself out"

As she headed for the bedroom, Jane didnt move from his seat; he knew that in a few hours, she would need him and he wasnt planning on going anywhere. Her state of mind was fragile; he had never seen her like that before and no matter how hard she tried to push him away, he was going nowhere anytime soon.