The Mentalist - What if?

Chapter 22

Later that evening, with Matilda settled for the night, Lisbon and Jane were snuggled on in the bed in the master bedroom, the fire glowing and blankets over them.

"You feeling okay?" He asked, running his fingers through her damp hair.

"I'm getting there"

"I noticed the cabin is up for sale; what would you say if I was to buy it? Have it as somewhere to go of a weekend?"

"Really?" She asked, looking at him.

"If you ever need a place to go to think, you'll be safe here"

"Can you afford it? I mean, you just brought a house"

"I have the money"

"It is a nice place to get away" she said, resting her head back on his shoulder.

"Wanna talk again?"

"I'm kinda tired; I just wanna lie with you"

"Okay"

When she awoke to the sounds of Matilda crying for food around midnight, she had the tell-tale signs of a headache with a slight fever; thankful Jane had got up to see to their daughter, she trudged into the kitchen and took two tenylol.

"You okay?" He asked, noticing her flushed face.

"Just a headache"

"Go back to bed, I've got Matilda"

"Thank you"

Kissing both Jane and their daughter, she took herself back to bed and laid, waiting for Jane to rejoin her; when he came back twenty minutes later, she instantly snuggled up to him.

"I remember one night after...after Red John, I'd only been asleep an hour at the most when I had a nightmare; it felt so real, like I was back there. Similar to the ones I had when I was pregnant; anyway, I got up, got a glass of single malt and sat on the sofa. I have no idea how long I just sat there for but I remember picking up the phone and thinking 'who can I call?'. Didn't want to call Tommy, he'd only worry and then Annie would worry and I couldn't deal with that; I couldn't call you even though I so desperately wanted to. And in that moment, I'd never felt so alone; I realised that whilst I had work colleagues, I didn't have friends outside of the job because...I was the job"

"Why couldn't you call me?"

"Because you were hurting too and already feeling guilty about bringing me into that situation in the first place without you knowing I was suffering because of it"

"I wish you had; I wasn't sleeping either. The whole thing was over but it had taken over every aspect of my life that I didn't know what to do next or how to feel or act"

"I'd put a brave face on at work and pretend everything was okay but i really wasnt; and then finding out the one therapist I had finally opened up to was taking advantage of me, using the information against me, it hurt Jane, more than I ever realised"

"That shouldn't stop you from opening up again; he played on your vulnerability."

"You make me feel safe, even when you're winding me up; you make everything seem okay, even when it's not" she said, lifting her pounding head to look at him.

"You deserve to feel safe and loved and in control; you've just lost your confidence a little, that's all. You'll get it back; you'll always be my strong, fearless Teresa Lisbon"

"I'm not so sure about that"

"You will, get some sleep; that headache of yours is just the start of a bug, I suspect"

"You take care of me" she sighed, resting back against him, his arms and warmth making her feel safe and secure.