The Mentalist - What if?

Chapter 14

As the pregnancy progressed, so did Lisbon's concerns and fears; so much so that her doctor had ordered her to start her maternity leave and rest due to her blood pressure spiking several times. Been one step away from bed rest and a potential hospital stay until their daughter was born, Jane had been trying everything he could think of to keep Lisbon calm.

"Jane...back off!" Lisbon claimed, at 33 weeks pregnant, when he tried to fuss over her as she sat on the sofa.

"You should be taking it easy. Not rearranging furniture"

"Seriously, back off" she warned, struggling to get comfy against the cushions.

"Lisbon...Teresa...talk to me; tell me what I can do to help" he tried, hoping he could calm her using his persuasive powers.

"You want to help me? Piss off" she glared.

Sighing, he took himself off to the nursery to finish what she had started; unbeknown to him, in the other room, Lisbon gasped and then groaned as a harsh pain spread through her back and stomach.

"Jane" she whispered, too quiet for him to hear. "Oh god"

As the pain began to ease, she slowly stood up, leaning against the sofa, before making her way to Jane; as she reached the doorway, another pain shot through her and she cried out, finally making him aware of her discomfort.

"Lisbon, what's wrong?" He asked, rushing to her side, helping to support her weight.

"Something...wrong" She groaned, trying to take deep breaths.

Helping her to sit in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, he knelt in front of her and took her hands.

"Where's the pain?"

"Back...stomach..."

"Okay, we'll get you checked out"

Helping her to stand and walk, it wasn't long before they were at the hospital; as the doctor checked her over and did an ultrasound, Jane gripped her hand and stroked her hair back.

"Looks like you're experiencing Braxton Hicks, false labour; baby is looking fine and healthy. We'll keep you here for a few hours and monitor you but if everything is okay, we'll discharge you"

As the doctor left, the nurse administered some pain relief and checked the monitors attached to the bump to check on the baby before also leaving the room; wiping away her tears, Jane kissed her forehead, leaving a hand on her bump.

"Get some rest" he whispered, seeing the tiredness in her eyes.

With no more contractions and everything still looking okay, Lisbon was sent home a few hours later and ordered to rest; lying in the bed, She rested a hand on her bump and held the teddy bear close.

"Can I get you anything?" Jane asked, putting a glass of water on the side table before lying behind her and holding her from behind her.

"No"

"Any more pain?"

"Just the usual twinges. I really thought we'd lost her..."

"She's a fighter, like her mom but seriously Lisbon, don't push me away; what would you have done if I'd left and hadn't gone into the nursery? What if it hadn't have been a false alarm?"

"I know" she said, tearfully as she turned to look at him. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to get snappy. I just...hate been fussed over and told not to do anything"

"Even so, it's only to protect you and our baby girl; with so many scares already, I couldn't face losing you two as well"

"I'm sorry" she repeated, allowing the tears to fall as she snuggled into his warm embrace.

"I know it's been hard for you, going on leave and been alone; it's gave you way too much time to think and scare yourself.  We have everything ready for when she's ready to come, the nursery is stocked up with essentials, I can start my leave from now but I need you to keep talking to me; let me help you"

When Lisbon didn't reply, he looked down and noticed she had fallen asleep; not wanting to disturb her, he sat and watched her, waiting in case she had another nightmare like every night that week. Sure enough, just thirty minutes later, she began whimpering.

"No, Jane, he's behind you; Jane...save her, please, save her"

"Lisbon, it's a dream. Wake up" he said, gently brushing her hair back and holding her hand.

"No, Jane, stop him. No. Nooooo"

As she sat up, her eyes opened wide and the tears fell; gasping, a hand flew straight to her bump and waited for her daughter to kick, only then did the panic begin to recede.

"Hey, it's okay, I've got you; it was just a dream" he whispered, rubbing her back until she collapsed into his embrace. "You're okay, you both are"

"He took her, and made me watch as he killed her" she whispered.

"Who did?"

"Red John"

"He can't hurt us anymore; this is just your fears manifesting into your dreams. Nothing is going to happen to either of you; everything is going to be okay"

With her daughter kicking in agreement with Jane, Lisbon took a deep breath and wiped her eyes before looking at him, feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.

"I'm scared Jane" she admitted. "I'm scared I won't be good enough for her; that I can't give her everything she needs. That you'll get bored and find someone better to be with; that I'm gonna spend everyday wishing I was at work instead of cherishing every moment with her"

"Teresa, I am not going anywhere unless you tell me otherwise and even then, it won't be without a fight; we've been through too much together to throw it all away so easily. As for this little one" he said, resting a hand on her on her bump "she's going to be loved, by both of us and everyone else; that's all she's going to want. Material possessions don't match up to the love and time you, we, spend with her; you made the decision at the start of your pregnancy to take the extra month off after your suspension and then you went part time. You put the health and well-being of her first over your job; I don't think you'll have any problem once she's here"

"But I'm not maternal in anyway"

"That doesn't mean you won't be a good mom; worrying about it isn't going to do you any good. You're great with children at work; you're great with Annie, and yes I realise Annie is a teenager, but she still looks up to you"

Sighing, she nodded in agreement before resting her head back on his shoulder.

"You rest, I'll be right back"

"Stay"

"I'll be five minutes, I promise"

Kissing her hair, he left her to rest before returning five minutes later as promised; sitting back next to her, she sat up and took the tub of ice cream and spoon off him.

"Ice cream fixes everything" he grinned.

"Not quite...but it tastes nice" she replied, her smile forced.