The Mentalist - What if?

Chapter 10

Two weeks later, at 8 weeks gone, it was time for Lisbon to return to work; she'd seen her doctor the previous Friday who checked her blood pressure and the heartbeat of the baby before allowing her back to work. She had spoken to Grace the night before and told her of the pregnancy but had told her not to mention it to anyone else until she was ready to; when Jane asked why only Grace knew, the answer he received was that Grace spent the most time in the office.

Waking up to her alarm clock ringing, she turned it off before staring at the ceiling, her hands resting on her stomach; sighing, she looked down and smiled.

"I cant promise i'm gonna be great...but i'll try my best; i'm scared i'm not going to be good enough for you..." she admitted as her door opened and Jane stood against the door frame, already dressed in his three piece suit.

"You will be more than good enough for that baby; you just need to believe in yourself. I have breakfast ready for you..."

"I'm not hungry"

"You should try and eat something; desk duty or not, you need something in you"

"I dont think i could stomach anything" she said as he sat on the edge of the bed next to her, taking her hand.

"It's gonna be okay today, you know that?"

"Then why am i so scared Jane?" She asked, her voice breaking.

"Because you're not used to taking a back seat; and having a baby, it's life changing"

"I dont know if i'm ready to face everybody" she admitted.

"The longer you leave it, the worse it'll be; everyone knows your outburst was a result of been framed for murder and been drugged by the therapist. No one blames you for that..."

"I do..." she whispered, turning away from him onto her side.

Sighing, he moved to lie next to her, gently moved her hair from her eyes as her tear-filled eyes looked at him.

"None of it was your fault; if anything, it's mine"

"No..."

"I brought Red John into your life; if i hadnt, you wouldnt have had to kill him and you wouldnt have had to see that therapist. I cant change what's happened but...i want to help you, however i can; i do need you to do something for me though"

"What?" She whispered.

"Stop blaming yourself; you didnt do anything wrong. You are perfect; i'm here and i'm not going anywhere. If you think you need longer, i'll call Minelli right now; i dont like seeing you getting this worked up and upset"

"He wont go for it"

"You havent had a vacation in as long as i've known you; you have more than enough time to use up. Tell me what you want to do and i'll sort it"

She sighed and moved her head so it was resting on his shoulder; she felt his fingers running through her hair and rubbing relaxing circles on her scalp as she slowly drifted off. Seeing her asleep, he gently moved and pulled the blanket over her before leaving the room to make a call; putting the pancake batter in the fridge, he waited for a response the other end.

"Minelli"

"It's Jane"

"What have you done now?"

"It's Lisbon"

"Go on"

"She's suffering badly from morning sickness; she's gonna be late"

"Okay"

"Thanks"

Hanging up the phone, he made himself a cup of tea and got a glass of ginger ale for Lisbon before going back into the bedroom; an hour later, he watched as she opened her eyes and noticed the time.

"Shit...did i fall back to sleep?" She asked as she sat up.

"I called Minelli, told him the sickness was bad and you'd be late...if you want to go in?"

"I cant hide away, can i?" She said, taking a sip of her drink. "I have to face it..."

"I'll be right there with you; the guys know i like to annoy you all day so it'll be no different"

"Just...try to stay out of trouble, for today at least?"

"I'll try; ready to eat something?"

"I guess"

"You get ready and i'll sort it"

"Thank you"

She gently kissed him before going into her en-suite and jumping in the shower; an hour and half later, they entered the bullpen where Grace, Cho and Rigsby all looked up at her.

"You've got this" he whispered in her ear before heading to make them a drink.

"Er...i wanted to apologise for what happened; it was wrong and...you didnt deserve the way i spoke to you"

"It wasnt your fault boss" Rigsby and Grace said at the same time.

"Still, as your commanding officer, it was wrong and i'm sorry" she said before disappearing into her office.

Sitting on her sofa, she put her head in her hands as she willed the nausea to go away; by mid-afternoon, the guys had just returned from visiting a crime scene. Noticing her door was shut, he did the considerate thing and knocked before entering; he found Teresa sat up to her desk, head resting on her hands as she dozed. The do not disturb sign on her door had deterred unwanting visitors but Grace had discreetly told him she wasnt feeling too good so he'd stopped on his way back and picked up some crackers and ginger ale; setting them down on her desk, he crouched next to her and kissed her forehead.

"Mmm" she groaned softly as she lifted her head and opened her eyes.

"Hey sleeping beauty, still feeling bad?" He asked as he led her to the sofa so she could sit on his lap, all the blinds closed and the door locked.

"I cant shake this nausea and tiredness" she answered, snuggling into him.

"It'll soon pass; can i get you anything?"

"I'm fine"

"Okay; feel up to coming out and discussing the case? Just because you cant go out in the field, doesn't mean you cant run the investigation"

"Give me five?"

"Okay, i've left you crackers and a drink on your desk"

"Thank you" she whispered as she leant in and kissed him as there was a knock on the door.

Letting out a gentle sigh, she reluctantly got off him and unlocked the door, opening it to Cho.

"We got a lead on a suspect; need Jane for interview"

"Okay"

As Jane left with Cho, Lisbon sat up to her desk and sighed and took a sip of her drink.