The Mentalist - What if?

Chapter 4

The next morning, Lisbon awoke, unsure where she was for a few seconds before realising she was in her own bed; the last thing she remembered was watching the film with Jane. Jane. Where was he? Did he leave last night? As she sat up and ran her fingers through her tangled hair, she noticed the blonde curls peeping out from the blanket on the chair in the corner of the room; she could make out the outline of his body and she let out a gentle sigh. I really need to get a grip of myself; i can't carry on like this. She though to herself; just two days before, they were nothing more than colleagues and friends. Now they'd admitted their feelings for each other and he was spending every single moment, awake or not, taking care of her; she wasnt used to that. She'd been taking care of herself, and her brothers, since a young age; she was just a teenager when her mom died and her dad went off the rails and eventually commited suicide but she'd made something for herself. She got herself through high school and into the academy, working herself up to the detective she was today; now, she had a baby to think of. She had to start thinking about that, not just herself; she was brought out of her own thoughts by the sound of movement coming from the chair. She smiled slightly to herself as Jane sat up and stretched before moving to sit next to her; she noticed he had since changed into a simple t-shirt and pyjama pants and how good he looked in it.

"Hey sleepy head; someone didnt say awake for the movie last night" he said, smiling at her.

"Sorry; you didnt have to stay"

"I wanted to"

"I dont think i've ever seen you look this casual" she said, gesturing to his attire.

"There's many things you dont know about me"

"Like what?"

"Like...how i'm going to cook you your favourite breakfast ever"

"You've never seen me have breakfast so how would you know what my favourite is?" She put back to him.

"This is true but you'll see; you relax and i'll bring it in when it's ready"

"You dont have to"

"I know" he grinned before kissing her lightly and leaving the room.

He was back half hour later, giving Teresa plenty of time to freshen up and run a brush through her hair; as he sat on the bed and sat the tray on her lap, she smiled at how he'd been spot on with her favourite: Banana and blueberry waffles with strawberries on the side and a glass of orange juice.

"Was i right?" He smirked.

"How did you know?" She asked, taking a bit.

"I have my ways; how you feeling today?" He asked, stroking her hair as she ate.

"I'm okay; i...i want to do something"

"Like what? Wanna go further out? Less chance of been seen?"

"I just wanna not overthink about things again; i want to go out and have some fun and not worry about work or anything"

"Okay, you eat your breakfast and i'll plan our day"

"Let's plan it together"

Three hours later, they were walking around a park away from where anyone would see them; walking hand in hand, they took their time and talked.

"Is your head any clearer?" He asked.

"I'm still confused and kinda scared about what else happened when i blacked out" she admitted. "I wish i could remember; i hate not been in control and knowing i was drugged, i could've done anything"

"What, and if, you did anything, illegal or otherwise, it wouldnt be your fault; you had no idea what that shrink was doing to you. Anyone that knows you well enough, would know you wouldnt do certain things; we all know you hate going along with my schemes but you do it anyway"

"Exactly, so do they really know me afterall?" she answered, staring off into the distance.

Seeing she was starting to panic again, he stopped and brought them drinks and a hot dog from a passing stand before they sat on a bench in front of the fountain; he watched as she nibbled the hot dog befote eventually setting it down on the bench next to her with her drink.

"You need to eat something" he said.

"I'm not all that hungry"

"Teresa, look at me" he asked softly before continuing when she turned her head. "You are still one of the best detectives in that unit; you never give up, even when i tell you you're wrong. I know you get a lot of complaints and paperwork because of me and i cant say it wont happen again because that would be lying, you know that; but i'll try harder not to piss people of so easily"

"It's not you, not in that way; i think...i'm questioning everything right now"

"Talk to me"

"I dont know Jane; i killed a man, intentionally or not and i'm not upset about it. I'm actually relieved that your pain and suffering is over; what kind of person, or cop, does that make me?"

"A brave one; and i, for one, will be forever grateful for what you did. You took on a notorious serial killer that ruined my life and came out of it relatively unscathed; you were the reason i kept going all these years, even from the moment i met you"

Hearing his words, she felt the tears in the corner of her eyes; putting his drink down, he held her close, kissing her forehead.

"For so long, i didnt trust anyone; i couldnt, i didnt know who i could. I didnt want to get close to anyone incase he came after them next; i knew working with you and the CBI, i was putting myself, and the unit under the spotlight and i know things happened but...i couldnt sit around and do nothing anymore. You brought me back to life; out of the shell of a life i was living"

"No i didnt"

"You did, more than you'll ever know; i'm sat here right now with the woman i love because that woman saved me from myself and my past. Whatever happens, you are not going to lose me; we will deal with it all...together"

She nodded, nuzzling her head into his shoulder; letting out a gentle yawn.

"We should get you home; you need to rest"

Discarding their rubbish in the nearby trash can, Lisbon leant into Jane as they headed back to the car; with her finally in bed, sleeping soundly, Jane took the opportunity to collect some belongings from home and checked in with the team before heading back to Lisbon's.