Glass Wall

Chapter 44

Five senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. Used for the perception and sense of the world around you. Your senses respond to a specific physical phenomenon. Each sense corresponds to a particular group of regions within the brain where the signals are received and interpreted.

Smell: the mix of odours I get while breathing deeply. I lay still trying to relax and take in the world around me. Breathe in... breathe out. Mint, I smell mint. There's also a musky scent that comes from Harry's cologne and it's mouth watering. Lavender and vanilla- that comes from my perfume and shampoo.

Taste: Before bed I brushed my teeth so I have the taste of mint tooth paste in my mouth. As I lie still, I can still remember the taste of Harry's lips against mine. The taste of his mint toothpaste and salt from the pool. It might sound gross but not when you're kissing Harry.

Hearing: the sound of deep and controlled breathing close to my ear. Behind that, the sound of silence...but not so silent at the same time. There's the faint sound of the radiation system buzzing through the house.

Sight: I see blackness caused by the inside of my eyelids. I don't want to open my eyes. The feeling of staying still and trying to perceive everything around me through darkness is relaxing.

Touch: the slow, agonizing feeling of Harry trailing his hand up and down my arm is making my stomach churn. He stops for a few seconds to reposition himself and then continues his movements. The heat that radiates off his fingertips make me feel like only that part of my body is warm as the rest is numb. Every so often he leans his head forward and kisses the skin beneath my ear. His body is pressed up against my back as his legs are intertwined with mine. His chest heaves as he inhales the oxygen. He exhales and warm wind tickles the hair at the crook of my neck.

I always analyze my five senses when I need to calm down. It gets me to stop and think about the surrounding environment. It allows my mind to stop thinking about whatever's bothering me.

I was initially sleeping in what I presumed to be the guest room. I started tossing and turning in my sleep because of the horrid nightmares. Somehow they were amplified tonight. I sat up so quickly and took in such a sharp breath that I began to choke out of sheer panic. My vision started to blur because of the head rush. I was thankful I didn't scream or wake Harry. I lay back down in bed slightly trembling from the fear and trauma. It felt like I was reliving the moment again. The more I lay there in panic as I remembered the events, the more I began to get restless.

I sat up in bed and looked across the hall. Harry's door was slightly opened and I couldn't see inside but the thought of him so close began to comfort me. I tried to go to sleep one more time but I just couldn't. I got out of bed in my baggy shirt and shorts and padded across the hall in bare feet. Harry was tangled in his sheets. The only visible part of him was his hair as he faced the opposite direction. I really didn't want to bother him but I was really feeling horrible. A single tear rolled down my face because of the frustration of constantly having to wake up. I wiped it away, took a deep breath and silently walked towards Harry.

I took uneven breaths as I stood close to his bed. As if he felt my presence, he rolled over and rubbed his eyes. The memories flooded back and I started to get upset again. I began to whimper and more tears accumulated in my eyes.

"Angel what's wrong?"

I didn't answer though because if I did I would've started to sob. I held my elbow looking down at the ground too afraid to ask him what I wanted. I tried anyways.

"H-H-Harry I-I c-c-can't-" I stopped, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. I tried again.

"I...I-I." I started to sniffle and became very aware of how absolutely ridiculous I looked.