Glass Wall

Chapter 54

Jace.

Jace?

Jace Kyle?

Kyle.

Jace Wood?

Kyle Wood?

Jace Kyle Wood?!

My eyes stay fixated on the yearbook analyzing Jace's face. The more I look at it the more I know for sure it's Jace. The only difference is that he looks younger.

I'm so confused. Isn't Jace in my grade? I was still in primary school in grade six at this time. Justin is in his freshman year in high school and Jace is in seventh grade. How did they know each other? How is Jace at my school now? What happened?

I close the book gently and put it on the table. I lean back in the chair and bring my knees to my chest.

Okay so Justin and I are three years apart. And Jace is supposed to be a year older than all of us in our grade?

Right now I'm in my senior year so this yearbook was from six years ago. Justin didn't leave me, us, until I was in freshman and he was in senior which was three years ago.

Complicated...

What I don't understand is how Jace was in Overton. Doesn't he live here in Richmont? Plus when I went to the Overton middle school the next year I knew all of the older kids by face and I would've recognized Jace but I've never seen him before in my life.

How is all this possible?

Somehow I need to figure this out. I need to confront Jace. I can't start screaming and yelling at him but somehow I have to get him to admit some details to me.

I'm so shellshocked I don't know how to react. Should I be mad? Upset? Happy?

Jace must've known Justin for at least three years until he left...died.

Has it already been three years since that time?

I remember not even being able to get out of bed that same year. I was in freshman year and Justin was supposed to be in his senior year. I used to be numb to the world and walk around with earphones in my ear at every moment of the day when they forced me to go back to school. I would try and drown out the world around me because I didn't want to deal with it. Teachers wouldn't even bother me.

Do you want to know what depression is? It's drowning in your constant thoughts and thrashing for your life but you continue sinking as you watch everyone around breathe happily above the surface.

That's how it felt.

The year after I wouldn't pay attention in class and I wouldn't study but I would be able to pull off good marks. I would sit in class and stare out the window. I had no friends, no real friends to turn to and that was the hardest part especially since I was hurting inside.

The year after that I started getting my wits together. I was able to give a slight smile and talk for a bit but nothing major. That year also went by at the speed of light because I just wasn't paying attention to anything. The only one who helped me through those times was Bryelle who couldn't always be there for me because we lived further away.

It was hard to continuously live in the same environment my brother used to be in but was not actually there anymore. I think my parents caught on to that so we moved. Since they got a job offer it was an even easier decision. We needed a new scenery somewhere to start fresh.

And that brings us to this year. This year is different. I don't block everyone out and I can have a long conversation if I wanted to. Three years of thoughts to myself and only now am I finally starting to be okay. Except for the nightmares and the panic attacks when the emotions are too much. Anyways, I'm extremely close to Bryelle which makes everything all the more easier. I've made new friends like Jasmine, Amy and Mariam who are real and so nice...