Letters to an Optimist

xxvii

Logan groaned. 

Ellie scowled at him for the fifth time since she reveled her 'plan', or what Logan liked to call it 'utter failure that shall get them nowhere but sick and alone.'

"At least I'm trying!" She snapped at him, blue eyes blazing irritably. Ellie pointed the twisted bobby pin at the grey eyed blond and narrowed her eyes. "Unlike the person I'm helping." 

Logan sighed, getting angry. He wanted to help, but Ellie told him to sit back and relax, but how can you relax when someone is dying?

What's the logic in that?

"I don't see the point in this," Ellie stared at him in bewilderment.

"You don't see the point, Lo? You don't fucking see the damn point?!" 

"Whatever," that ticked her off. Ellie stood up immediately, her faced showing only pure annoyance covered with rage.

"'Whatever'? Would you shut the fuck up and actually listen to what you say? You brush every damn thing off like it doesn't matter, so the fact that this girl is dying. Not stuck in a hospital only, but dying. Loosing life. Mean anything to you?! Because in the damn letters I've read, she gives more than fuck about you, and you don't even deserve it! She deserves someone who does give more than she does. Someone who doesn't give a damn if he's trapped in a fucking hurricane, but he'll always be there for her," Ellie roared, bystanders on the street stopped to stare at the raging blonde, but she was too full of adrenaline to give a damn.

"You should actually try. 'Cause I'm sick of this. I'm sick of trying to get you to calm your man tits, and see the world. I'm tired of trying to help you! For Christ's sake, Lo! I've tried helping you for sixteen years! Sixteen shitty years Lo! She's been trying to help you for 3 months, and what she did worked more than what I did; and you're wasting that away? Are you mental? You must be, she's more than a helper, Lo. She fucking saved you and you turn your back on her because I couldn't remove the damn thing off your leg!"

By now, the street was silent except for the cars passing by, and the dogs barking in the background. Ellie's chest was rising up and down rapidly as she clenched her fists and tried not to bite Logan's head off. People around the street stood silently, before suddenly the sound of a clap echoed. Ellie jumped slightly and turned to the person who started it. Whom was a middle aged woman, with close cropped auburn hair and soft green eyes; Ellie stared at her for a few more seconds, before shuffling to face Logan again. He stared at her with wide eyes.

Grey eyes-which are normally stormy with rage or annoyance- where filled with shame and pride. 

Shame, because he let this happen, because he gave up on Blanca so easily. 

Grief, because at this moment, Blanca could be hearing her last heart beats on the monitor. 

"Lo, you've gotta learn to put your life on the line, just to see and help someone you love," Ellie said softly, she turned around and walked away. The crowd parted, and she walked through the space they made. The woman who clapped before, clapped once again. But this time it was accompanied by others. 

By the time Logan stood up and tried to look over the civilians heads. Ellie was long gone, and the entire crowd were cheering.

"Ellie!" He yelled, hoping to bring her back. He didn't want to go through this alone, expecially if he's going to see Blanca. 

She's more than a helper, Lo. She fucking saved you and you turn your back on her because I couldn't remove the damn thing off your leg!

Ellie's words vibrated in his head. Logan sucked in a deep breath, and raised the fabric on his left leg enough to show the machine that's stopping him from going to Blanca.

"Oh fuck it," he closed his eyes, and raised his right foot, smashing it into the machine. 

Logan couldn't help but admit it, he did have a pretty damn good kick.  

The crowd around him gasped when they saw him do that. Logan ignored them and limped towards the nearest lamp post. He leaned on that as he tried kicking the homing device once again.

But failed, again.

He refused to give up, Ellie's words floating around in his subconscious. The look of utter sadness that crossed her face before she left him, the look of utter rage she had at the beginning of her rant.

And finally, the utter heartbreak the clouded her blue eyes, it just shattered him.

He hated the fact that he was the one to place those emotions there, but it's too late for shame, or any other shitty emotion that came with it.

He clenched his fist, and screwed his eyes shut. He raised his foot once again, and brought it down. Hard, onto the little block on his leg.

With a loud crack, and the sound of something falling on pavement, Logan felt lighter. Not just physically, but mentally. He's going to finally see the Princess of Optimism.

"Hold on princess."

***

BA-FUCKING-BAM! :p lol, so I had to re-write this chapter [not cool, like srsly] cause I listened to the wrong song, and it changed the whole mood of this chapter, and argh :/ So here is another chapter!! :D

warning: chapters might be updated slightly late, because I really want to put a lot of effort into the last few chapter [yeah, last few :( ] because they're really important. I just want to wriet the epilogue already! haha :p jks. So I'm planning on writing between 2 or 3 more chapters before posting the epilogue. *sigh* 

Please tell me what you think! :p

Dedicated to killyourcupcakes cause I just finished reading Perks of Being a Rowling, and I'm just like-grrrrrr. Too much amazingness.

Mack