Letters to an Optimist

xx

Hey Lo,

So I'm imagining 'Bunny' or 'Twink' whichever name you call her, as a close friend, or girl friend? 

Must have been quite a scary bunny if she made you groan in pain, I can imagine that... sort of. I can only imagine a boy being punched by a small little rabbit, very strange.
I guess... I imagine how you look, Lo. How weird is that?  I'm a weirdo, eh. You can tell me that, it won't matter.

What does matter, is that I'm worried about your parentage. So you're saying that your dad, is actually... a woman instead of a man?

So he's transgendered? Um... no comment from me.

Also, I don't know how to react to the fact that you find it hilarious that your parents were drugged and taken away. You might have been a deranged child, very strange... but I don't mind, it's what makes everyone different.

And different is good, Lo.

But sometimes, different can also be bad in a few ways.

I know a lot more about you, than you do about me, Lo. I think that should change right now. It's a better way for you to understand me.

I'm not exactly the best person to speak to about the perfect home. Might seem strange to you, since most of your accusations were pointing out that I grew up in the perfect environment.

It wasn't perfect, nowhere near it. But it was home, and I accepted what I got. 

You see, Lo. I lived in a very poor part of France, and yes; I am in fact French, not Spanish. Everyone thinks I'm Spanish just because my name is Blanca. Annoying, but I got used to it. 
I had three old brothers, one younger sister and one younger brother. All of them ranging from the ages four to seventeen.

The six of us lived in an abandoned warehouse, we stayed there for most of our lives. Hiding under darkness, living me rats, mice, insects, anything that infested the area like we did.

We didn't have any parental guidance, both our parents died, my dad was killed helping one of my brothers, and my mother died of disease after she gave birth to Danny; my youngest brother.

Quite strange, don't you think? How'd I stay optimistic through all of that?

You'd have to blame Danny for that I guess. Oh, and Jaclyn, my sister.

One day, my eldest brothers left the warehouse to find a job to try and support us. I was only eleven, back then, Jaclyn was nine and Danny was four.   

The three of us stayed huddled together trying to keep warmth among ourselves, we tried, Lo.

Jaclyn was already sick, I guessed that she wouldn't have the much time left if we stayed living like this.  I gave her all the clothes I had, every blanket I could locate, absolutely everything. I even handed her the only stuffed bear I ever received, it was a gift from my mother and father. 
With tufts of fur missing from old age, and only one eye, Bernard didn't seem that friendly.

Yes, I named my only teddy bear Bernard, I have no idea why. I just liked that name.

She took it without a care in the world, hugging it close to her body. That was when Danny asked me where I got it. 

I told him our parents gave it to us. But Lo, the look he gave me... I couldn't let the tears fall, I had to be strong for them... right? 

I hugged him instead, letting the tears run down my face, and wiped them away immediately. He cried, his little body shook with every sob, soon Jaclyn joined us, joining our sad miserable group of orphaned children.