Broken (ZonniquexBahja) *Editing*

21

Zonnique~

"I just don't see the big deal."

"You don't see the big deal Bahja?!" I whispered/yelled to her. "When I wanted you... You never once told me anything like this. Now you see me with Lani and you're suddenly in love with me? I don't buy it."

"I'm not asking you to." She snapped back, "I see you're happy with Lani... I have Kyla."

"So what was your point?"

"I needed for you to know... Tell me that what we once had is now gone."

"We never had--"

"Tell me that what we once had is now gone." She stated sternly.

I grabbed her face and looked her in her eyes, "what we once had is now gone."

She stood there, staring at me with a shocked expression. "You just--"

"I know. YOU fucked this up Bahja. We could've had something. You left me before I could even get a chance to let myself cope with my feelings for you. They were there, but when you said what you did to me, I lost it all. It was like, I felt myself breaking down again."

"What do you mean breaking down again? I broke you down?"

"No... I just remember all those times in highschool when people would come up to me. Calling me an orphan, or broke... I thought about how my little sister was being bullied because of the way we lived. I keep seeing those pictures of the dead bodies with my parents faces on them... I keep picturing it all. It wasn't even what you said at the hospital Bahja. It was what you sent me afterwards." I wiped my eyes to keep the tears from falling.

"What did I say to you afterwards?"

She wanted to play dumb, "don't act like you don't know."

"I don't know... I'm sorry and all but--"

"I don't need a sorry... We good. Just don't associate with me and I will do the same with you. There's nothing more to it."

"You don't mean that."

"I mean every word Bahja. I thought that with you in my life... Everything would be so much better. I'd forget all about my past and what has happened... You've done nothing but remind me of it. I'm tired."

I could tell she didn't know what else to say. She nodded and gave me one last hug. I squeezed my eyes shut, not hugging back.

"I really am sorry for all I've put you through."

I pushed her away and turned around to walk back to where Lani was. I fixed my face up before walking into the room. I put on a smile and sat down in a chair. She was in the booth and as I walked in her face lit up. She flashed me a smile and I smiled back.

As I sat there listening to her sing, I thought about what Bahja said to me after she left the hospital. I put my head down and closed my eyes, trying hard not to remember. But no matter how hard I try, I remember that entire paragraph way too well.

To add more to what I had to say, you're a broke bum. You wouldn't be where you are today without me. I never wanted you. Never loved you. Never needed you. I honestly thought this was just supposed to be a "make a song and then you're gone" type thing, but obviously you got too attached. Lmao, you're sad and pathetic. Did your parents really die or did they just not want you? I wouldn't want you. You're dirty and not at all what I would associate myself with.

I damn near started crying again. That wasn't even all of it. I don't know why I didn't just cut her off after that. Why am I even tripping off her? It really is making me look sad and pathetic.