This Love {SasoDei fanfic}

SasoDei fanfic chap 1 {This Love}

(( This is only the first chap I have up to chap 12 ))

Chapter 1:
"This love"

Sasori was to be executed at midnight, but I, Deidara, could not let that happen. Sasori had tried to leave the Akatsuki, and it did not go down well... I am in love with Sasori, and he does not know it yet. I had smuggled him out of the dungeon, and we are now on my giant clay owl. We were planning for me to drop him off in the dessert as soon as the sun rises, Because he, Sasori, can survive.

We get the bird and take off. I avoid looking at him. God, I loved him so much it physically hurt. "What's wrong?" He asks. "Nothing..." I mutter. "I just- don't want you to go... Because I- never mind, it's dumb..." "Deidara... You cannot go back... They'll hurt you... Pain might even kill you!" He grabs my arm, trying to make me look at him. I refuse to look at him as I start to silently cry. "I know..." I whisper.

"Listen," he says, "go back... I- I- escaped while you were getting me food..." He stands up. I grab him and look at him so he can see I'm crying. "No!" I plead, " I- I can't go back now! Sasori..." I had to tell him... "I- I love you! There! I said it! I'm in love with you, and if I go back now I won't be able to stand myself! Pain will kill me and I cannot stand to be without you..." He freezes up in shock, and breathes my name, "Deidara..." "I'm sorry..." I say. "I know I shouldn't have said anything... I just- I know shinobi of the Akatsuki should not have feelings like this, especially towards partners, but I can't ignore it..." I say as I gently touch his face.

He looks at me and touches my hand. "B- but you have to go back..." He stammers. "I cannot be the one who causes the whole Akatsuki to search for you... Deidara..." "But you don't understand!" I yell. "I'd rather have them search for me than to not be with you..." I say, moving my face closer to his. He blushes and looks away. "Where will we hide?" He asks. "They probably would know where we might hide... I say we wing it..." I reply as I gently push his face back so he is looking at me. Then, I look at him, and I kiss him. For the first time, I kiss him. I can tell that he's shocked at first, but then he starts to kiss me back. "Deidara..." He whispers. "Yeah?" I ask, as I rest my forehead against his, and give him one last soft kiss.

"Y- you saved my life, and now y- you're risking your life for me... Why?" He asks. "Because I love you..." I say, tears welling up in my eyes. He suddenly wraps his arms around me in a warm hug. I'm surprised at first but then I gratefully hug him back. "Sasori..." I begin, "listen, i- if you don't feel the same way, I understand... I just-". He interrupts me with a kiss. "I do..." He replies. "But what are we going to do?" He asks, a tear falling down his face. I gently wipe the tear away and say, "we can go to the woods. We both know how to survive in the wild and even if I have nothing, all I need is you..." I give him a sad smile and he tenses up, and gets this look on his face... I know he's having flashbacks.

"Listen to me, Sasori!" I hold his face in my hands. "If I die protecting you... It's the only way I would want to die!" "Don't say that!" He yells, "enough people have already died before!" He starts to cry, hard, tears rushing down his face. "My parents, everyone who I have killed in order to survive I-" I grab him as he collapses in my arms. "Shhh..." I coo, "it's okay. I'm here. I'm sorry. It'll be okay, I promise..." I say reassuringly. He quickly stands, wiping his eyes. "I- I need to clear my head..." He says. "Please! Don't go!" I exclaim, grabbing him. "I- I can't stand to be alone..." I know if I don't stop him, he will try to leave. I cannot let that happen. I love him more than I could stand, and I can't imagine life without him.

I grab him and pull him down next to me, and I hold him. "I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." I repeat over and over until we both start to cry. He grabs my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes. "Deidara, I've never said this to anyone in my life, ever, but when I say this I need you to know I've never felt so confident about anything in my entire life." The tears run harder down my face. I do not make a sound. I just look at him. I know what he is going to say. "Deidara," he says, looking at me intently. "I love you." And in those three words, I know what he is saying. He is utterly devoted to me. I know he means it. I can't help it, I pull him in and kiss him, hard. "I love you more than anything." He says in between kisses, "I love you so much it physically hurts." I nod, my love for him was so strong, I could not put it into words. All I could do was kiss him, and that's exactly what I did.

He pushes me down so that he is a laying on top, and we kiss that way for a while. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, our kisses slow, and he lays beside me. We just lay like that for a while, looking at the sky, the stars, that contradict that we are in motion at all. They stay still. That is like my love for Sasori; even when I die, the light from it will shine just like the starts we are seeing now.

Sasori's hand finds mine and he holds it tight as I snuggle into him. We lay this way for a while, and let this morbid reality come into focus. We say nothing. We just hold each other. Finally, Sasori breaks the silence, "We can only run for so long..." He says. "Yes, I know." I reply. "This planet is only so big, what happens when we run out of places to hide?" He asks. "We die." I say simply, as if dying knowing he loved me would be enough, and it would be, but I know Sasori and he hates the subject of death.

He sits up and faces me. I follow. "Deidara, if we die, we will no longer be able to encounter moments like the one we just experienced." He says, and we both blush. "But if I die knowing that we tried, and that we ever had such experiences at all, I shall die happy." I respond. He looks out at the distant mountains. "Deidara, this is not based on lust, you must know this. This is based on raw love," he leans closer. "and passion..." His voice becomes gravity at that last word, sending shivers up my spine. I involuntarily moan. "If I die knowing that I was by your side the whole time, loving you," he looks back at me. "I suppose it would not be a terrible way to go..." He finishes, finally agreeing with me.

He slowly inches closer. I bite my lip. An uncontrollable need for Sasori suddenly overtakes me, and I find myself on top of him, kissing him passionately. His fingers tangle in my hair. "So let's live while we can..." I say in between kisses, "Sasori.... Let's love while we can..." He tries to speak but when he opens his mouth a groan escapes his lips, which is quickly quieted by my mouth. He nods in a agreement. God, I love him. I love him so much it frustrates me that I cannot express is burning inside of me. This love... This passion... No, Sasori was right, tip his was not based on lust... It was raw emotion, built up through the years that now it was exploding in such a way, I could barely contain myself. "I love you..." I say again, "I love you.."