Colours Of Fear

but I'll be close behind

POV Lloyd

       I held the bag of groceries and shoved them into the back of my car. My eyes narrowed as I stared at a couple walk by. I never loved him, but I hate to think about him with somebody else. ( aye the 1975 reference).

I did the awkward smile and wave thing at them, just purely to be a friendly stranger and pulled out of the parking spot. The thought drove me crazy. At the red light I sat and contemplated on whether he would move on or not. Of course eventually he would, but when would that be taking place? Would I notice it? Where is he? Is he having fun? I couldn't stand this nagging thought, pulling on my brain. My hands began to shake and I laid my head back on the black leather car seat. There at the red light sat a grown man, crying over a boy.

People peered into the windows to see what lunatic would stay sat at a red light, just to see a fully grown, fully functional boy in tears. It was pathetic, yeah I get that but Kai was my everything at one point and vise versa. I should be getting over him, like he was getting over me but the thought of him with somebody else was causing my body to ache.

"Kai", I sniffled and looked down at my phone.

I had the capability to just type a message and press send, but should I? I could talk to him and ask if he's moved on, but what does that make me look like? Pathetic. Sat there, I decided to text him.

Blocked Number: You probably want nothing to do with me, but it's Lloyd. How's it going? Have you met a girl or boy, you know past experiences? Sorry if you never wanted to see me again. I'm just thinking about you.
Message not delivered, number blocked.

He blocked my number. Smart.

I hope the girl he was with loved him as much as I did when I had him, yeah, I hope she does.