We Are Stars | OLD DRAFT

Chapter Twelve: Keep it Simple

Two Years Ago...

It's been a month since I found out that I'm pregnant, and nothing has ever been harder. Concealing this secret has been a morbid battle for my subconscious. Every bone in my slowly expanding body feels like ice, annihilating any spark of warmth. Guilt is a bitch.

This morning was a close one. After vomiting for the third time in the last two hours, Dylan had walked in on me. He asked me why I was throwing up into the toilet and I had to hurriedly come up with some excuse. I told him that it was just the stomach bug and that I'd feel better soon. He seemed to believe my lie.

I can't imagine what would happen if someone were to find out. Mom would be more disappointed than angry, but Dad would be furiated. My brothers would not know what to feel, on the other hand. But then there's Noah...

Lying to him as brought me nothing but more guilt, only it cuts deeper gashes. I've had to avoid him for the past few weeks, along with those closest to me. Someone would take one look at me and notice and change in my figure. I may not have developed a bump yet, but my skin looks like it has been touched by ghosts and my hair is a sickening shade of pale blonde mixed with browns.

I stare up at the ceiling with a heavy eyes, trying to drift off into a peaceful rest. Sleep is the one place where I can find peace in the badlands of my life. My soul travels past the borderlines of my mind and enters an empire of solace. If only I could reside there for all eternity.

A loud chime attacks my lucid brain and my head slowly drifts to the side. The screen of my phone is lit up like a Christmas tree, and my present is the text that I just received. With a loud groan, I pick up the phone and my inner voice begins to read the text. It's from Noah.

NOAH : We need to talk

Yes we do.

~~~~~

Every step that I take sends a wicked pang through my legs, the anxiety pulsing in my temples. His door seems so far away when I only have to take a few steps to get there. I suddenly feel the compulsion to throw up, the bile already gathering inside me, but I take control and keep it down in the depths of staggering body.

My hand clutches the rail next to the door, my knuckles white and numb. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. If I tell him, what would he think? We've only known one another for a month, yet I already feel like he's the only person that I can trust. Then again, if he looks at me any differently, if he thinks of me as a slut, I'll have nothing. Nothing at all.

I count to ten before ringing the doorbell, trying to calm my nerves. Instantly, I hear footsteps approaching the door. I almost stumble backwards when it opens, revealing a tall, handsome figure with familiar brown eyes. Only this time, the brown is joined with dull colors. "Rowen," Noah says. I almost break inside when I don't hear my usual nickname.

"We need to talk," I say.

He steps more into the open, his hand still on the knob of the door. "Wanna come inside?" He asks, his voice cracking a bit at the last syllable.

I lean more against the rail. "No, I'd - I'd rather do this out here."

Noah takes one last step outside of the doorway and shuts it behind him. His back leans against the other rail, just parallel from me.

"So, what's new?" I ask, trying to avoid any tension.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Nothing much. Just, trying to figure out what I did to make you avoid me." The words sting like a thousand bee stings.  I can already feel the pool of tears gathering under my lashes.