My Chemical Romance, Infected

Chapter 24: Trapped

Chapter 24: Trapped

I woke up coughing. I think everyone was sleeping but I was coughing so loud that I could've woken them up. I rolled out of my bunk and into the bathroom. I lifted the toilet seat and stuffed my face in. I puked up blood and booze for an hour and filled the sink. I cuffed my hands and splashed my face with water. I started coughing again when I heard a knock on the door. "Are you alright Gerard?" Asked Ray. "Yeah...." I said and puked. After about ten minutes I came out and laid in my bed facing the wall and began to cry. Frank hopped up in my bunk and laid next to me. "It'll be okay Gerard, I promise." He said and kissed me. My hand held his face in place and I couldn't resist. He bit my lip when I heard someone coming our way. We stopped what we were doing and acted like we were just talking. It was Brian, our band manager. "I have to get off here, my mother is sick." "Where are we?" I asked. "Denver." "Okay, we'll miss you man." I hugged him and he was gone. I assume that our touring manager was going to do everything. Frank left and out of the bus. We were stopped I guess at a truck stop along a really clean pond. The driver slept and everyone was outside. I snorted some cocaine while I could and drank some rum I kept in my bunk. I went outside and by Frank. I asked, "Are you drinking tonight?" "No." "Come on let's get fucked up later." I said with a smile. The sun was setting and everyone was sorta camping out next to the bus. I just wanted to die. I have only been suicidal a couple times in my life but never this bad. It was 2am and everyone was sleeping but me. I went into the bathroom and took apart a few razors the guys used to shave. I cant take the pain anymore and i cant keep drinking it away. I dragged the blade across my skin not thinking about the consequences. It wast good enough so I stabbed it into my arm and cut the flesh apart. Blood came pouring out almost instantly and I was nearly at the artery. I need to tell someone what was going on. I called Brian. "Hello?" He said. "I need help. I just want to die." "What's wrong Gerard?" "I just don't want to live anymore. I have to tell you something." "Yes, anything." "I haven't just been drinking and smoking. I've been doing cocaine and over dosing on non-prescription medications." He was speechless I know it. "Go wake up your touring director. Tell him everything." He said after a while of silence. We didn't get off the phone until about 7 in the morning. Mikey and John (our touring director) were awake. The pond was near by, now was my chance. I walked over to the pond and kneeled down. When I looked at my reflection, I didn't see myself. I saw someone else. I saw someone that wasn't worth anyone's time. Lyn-Z deserved better. I stood up and walked into the pond fully dressed. I might have stayed under for two minutes which is a long time, especially for me. Two people pulled me out and were screaming something at me. "What the fuck Gerard?!" Yelled Mikey. Everyone was awaken by all the yelling and soon they were all over by me. I noticed I left my cup of booze on the picnic table near by. I walked over and chugged it. Bob slapped it out of my hand and I punched him in the face. We soon got in a big fight and we were bleeding all over. I began coughing up blood again and passed out in the grass. They must have picked me up because we were on the road again.