Gameplay's and Heart Eyes (Jacksepticeye X Reader)

Break Down

I had so many doubts about myself now, like my voice, the way I act, the things I said, that I felt like I needed a while to figure out a way to change those things about myself before I hung around people again.
I started to creep upstairs, intent on collecting my backpack and other belongings, but I was intercepted by a short green haired person.
It was Jack.
God I really couldn't be around him right now. I felt like such a wreck, and I didn't want to have to burden such a sweet, caring guy with my stupid issues. They had nothing to do with him, and I intended to keep him out of it.
"Where are you going?" Jack asked, concern thickening his voice. I glared at my feet.
"I just have to run down to the store for a few... personal things," I lied, making the intent clear that I didn't want him to come along. A hurt look crossed his face, but after a split second it was replaced with a look of bright happiness.
"Oh, well, I'll walk you, I can pop next door to check out some music items," he said in a rush, beginning to climb the stairs. I quickly grabbed the back of his shirt.
"Uh, no, I'd rather go alone, it's personal," I pressed. Jack's face fell. I felt terrible, but I didn't want Jack to catch me running away. I smiled confidently at him.
"Maybe we can do something together after?" I suggested, a guilty weight forming in my stomach with every lie. Jack smiled again.
"Yeah, okay!" He shouted. I smiled weakly at him in return, and headed upstairs. I grabbed my backpack, and stuffed as many things as I could into it; spare clothes, my laptop and chargers, headphones, purse, shoes and toiletries. I kept my phone in my pocket and walked downstairs. I waved hesitantly at Felix, Bob, Ken and Wade, who were arguing over how to fix the coffee machine.
"Just popping down to the store!" I called, and received a few grunts in response. Bob, Wade and Jack all waved, and Mark frowned at me in concern. I waved and smiled confidently at Mark, and he eventually waved back. I quickly hurried out the door.

Two hours of walking and buss-riding later, I was checking into a hotel, far away from Mark's house. The hotel clerk handed me a small silver key. I thanked her and dragged myself upstairs to my room. I was exhausted, and both from the long trek and the paranoia of glancing behind me every five minutes, in fear that I was being followed. One part of me wished I had stayed at the house, and talked things through with Jack. I knew my boyfriend would have had the perfect advice to help me overcome these hurtful issues. But I also knew that he would take those issues as his own fault, and blamed himself for not being able to help more. I didn't want to burden him, or hurt the boy I lived because of some small issues. I knew if I had a week or so to myself, I would have the courage to go back and reunite. But for now, I just needed some space to think things through.

(Jack's point of view)

"Where is she Mark?" I yelled, as the older man paced back and forth, running his fingers through his bright hair. It had been two hours since she had left to 'go to the store', and everyone knew something wasn't right. I was completely tense, unable to sit still without tearing my own hair out. Ripley had been acting weird ever since that day out. After we had dinner at that pizza place, she had kind of... shut into herself. She had barley spoken to me today, except to push me away. And that nightmare! I wondered if the dream was linked to her bipolar actions. I tapped my heels impatiently as I glared at the guys. I knew it wasn't their fault Ripley was gone. If anything it was mine. Mark huffed in anger.
"Did she say where she was going?" He snapped at me, obviously just as scared as I was. Ripley had worked her way into all of our hearts.
"No, she just said 'the store'," I replied. Mark groaned and grabbed an empty cd case off the bench and threw it violently into the wall.
"SHIT! She could be anywhere!" He yelled. I sunk into the leather barstool. Felix, Wade, Ken and Bob began talking between themselves, trying to form a plan to find my girlfriend. I felt the prick of hot tears escape the corners of my eyes.
"Mark... it's my fault," I whispered. Mark stopped his pacing and walked over to me.
"What?" He asked softly. I squeezed my eyes closed, feeling the hot tears fall onto my clenched hands.
"It's my fault she's gone! She had been pushing me away all morning, and I kept trying to be with her, and now she has run away because I was stupid and kept pushing! I'm a terrible boyfriend, and it's all my fault she is gone!"
I broke off with a loud sob, and Mark's arm wrapped around my shoulder. I rested my elbows on my knees and cried into my hands as my best friend rubbed circles onto my back. I was millimetres away from having a full breakdown.
"Jack, it isn't your fault..." he comforted, trailing off. I looked up.
"Why did you trail off?" I asked accusingly. Mark held his hands up in a surrendering gesture.
"It wasn't me, I promise. Her social medias were spammed by hate comments, telling her to kill herself and that she was worthless, because people were jealous of her. My guess is that she hurt needed to get out, be alone for a bit to let herself think. I just wish she had told us where she was..."
I stared at Mark.
"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I asked, pain lacing my tone. Mark dropped his eyes guiltily.
"I didn't want you you feel guilty and responsible," he confessed. "I gave her some advice, and she knew she could talk to any of us. I think she just chose the wrong choice."
I nodded stiffly. An idea pooped into my head.
"Mark, do you have an address book?" I asked quickly. Mark raised an eyebrow at my random request, but handed it over without question. I felt the other guys surround me as I flicked through.
"What are you doing?" Felix' Swedish accent asked. I frowned, concentrating.
"I'm finding the names of all the nearby hotels. All in a three hour radius."
Bob and Wade came over and started pointing out hotels and motels. Mark and Ken began writing down a list of names.
After about 10 minutes, we had a list of hotels in a three hour range. Mark tore the list in half, and handed half to me.
"Lets split up. You, Felix and Ken take those ones, Bob, Wade and I will take these ones. Call us if you find her."
I nodded solemnly.
"Same goes for you. Good luck!"
With that, we all split up and drove off, the smell of burning rubber tainting the driveway.
I was going to find her if it was the last thing I did.