Jojo's Bizarre Oneshots

Joseph-Roast

I'm not that good in the concept of roasting, so bare with me here.

~Joseph's POV [sorry if i go OOC]~

"Geez! Lighten up Caesar! You could have a little fun once and a while."

"My fun complies of training Joseph."

"You mean bubble blowing?"

"Ugh! Remember how your ass got beat by bubbles?!"

"Remember how you got your ass beat by a pigeon?!" Grrr! I cant stand Casear's uptight ass. I wish he'd just chill. I thought a drink was just what he needed, so here we are at a bar. Good seats and good drinks. But this salad over here just won't...UGH!!!

"You want to go right now Joestar?!"

"Bring it on Zeppeli!"

We shot up from out spot and the counter and both out chairs fell. All who were in the bar turned to us. 

I was waiting for Caesar to make the first move but instead, his usual stern face turned into a scared one. "What's a matter? You scared of me or something?"

"Not of you." Then he tilted his head to the left, twice. Is he trying to tell me something?

Little did I know, my question was about to be answered. Suddenly my feet were sweeped off the floor and I crashed to the floor, face first. "Owwwwwww." I turned my head to try and find the jackass who did that but what I saw was...Caesar get thrown to the floor. On top of me. "Owwwwwwwwww! Really Caesar?" 

"It...wasn't...my fault." He raised his finger slightly and pointed to a girl. A, sexy, big bust, short skirt wearing, girl who's...cracking her knuckles?

"Look Caesar." She starts, "Your my friend and all, but I think you know better than anyone not to cause trouble here while I'm working." 

"Yes ma'am." Caesar says defeated. 

"Who's the stripper?" She asks gesturing to...ME!!?

"Hang on!" I shot up from my spot off the floor. "Who you calling a stripper."

"You abviously. Who else do you see wearing a crop top sleeveless shirt with some high ass boots. And that scarf...Really you wanna go to Hogwarts so bad don't you? But guess what, wrong color scheme."

"Who do you think..."

"AND your hair style...What is that? Why are there spikes...shooting out to one side? Do you get up every morning, look in the mirror, and just say f*ck it? Cuz that's sure what it sure looks like."

~Nobody's POV~

The entire restaurant was silent. Which was unbelieveable in Joseph's circumstances. He just got insulted. Worse- roasted. And he did nothing, except put a smirk on his face, and say, "Well played. Name's Joseph." He brought his hand out for the woman to shake which she did.

"(Y/N)." And she walks away.

The entire bar goes back to being silent. As (Y/N) leaves Caesar is left in shock. He does a double take to make sure what just happened, happened. "What was that!" He shouts out.

Joseph turns to him in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean! She just...just...just...Are you cool with what just happened?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Joseph looks away and Caesar notices a bit of pink on Joseph's cheeks. 

"Why are you blushing? You don't find her attractive do you?"

"...hmmm maybe..." Joseph moves closer to Caesar and whispers, "plus I got a shot of her panties."

"Well then perv, she and everyone else in here got a shot of that bloody stream coming from your nose there.

"What!!??" He rubs just above his lip and finally notices some blood. "OH NO! How long was this there?"

"It started when you face planted earlier."

"OH MY GOD!"