When Everything Collided (On Hold)

Alone again

Teddy's PoV

I slowly peeled my eyes opened as the rays of sunshine seeped through the blinds of my bedroom window. I let out a loud sigh knowing no one would hear it and practically rolled out of bed. "Ouch," that was a bad choice especially since I had a hangover from the night before. I crawled on all fours to the wall with the light switch and using the wall for support I managed to turn on the light. I turned around, I blocked the light from my eyes using my hand and I placed back against the wall and just slid down till I was sat, knees tucked to my chest. When I removed my hand from my eyes I saw that the room was a total mess. Vodka bottles scattered around the room showed that I must have raided my alcohol supply and probably dried it clean. A few holes in the wall and a broken lamp explained why my hands stung and the dried red paint. My head throbbed from the unbearable hangover. "Well, shit..." and they wonder why I don't socialize much. I pulled myself to my feet and stumbled around on shaky legs to the bathroom. I tried the lock to find it locked and remembered I left the key on top of the frame. I lock the bathroom so when I'm drunk I don't go for the blades and over do it. Unlocking the door I found a clock on the wall above a mirror cabinet that read 7:30 am. Thank god I still had time for a shower before work. Before that, I opened the cabinet and found my blade which was stained with blood from before uses. Unlike most, I don't cut for attention, I don't cut to be caught, I cut to release pain and anger I have towards myself. I lift my shirt up to look at my stomach which was littered with cuts and burn marks. I delicately ran a finger over the recent cuts which were still red around the edges. I used the blade and pushed on the skin creating new lines. Only hard enough to break the skin and for a few drops of blood to run free. 'one for giving in easy' flashes of memories from last night ran through my mind. 'two for trying to fit in' i remember talking to Oliver and Zoe. Then I remembered Bailey's outburst after my dare. 'another for causing them pain'. The memory of coming back and raiding the fridge and smashing the place came back and I cut again slightly deeper and longer. 'that's for the weakness you showed'. Four cuts, four newly crimson red cuts. I looked into the mirror to see a pale face but black bags under my eyes. My hair out of place and tacky. I'll have to hurry if I am to look decent for work. Leaving it at four. I put the blade back and quickly jumped in the shower. I allowed the water to clean the blood of my sides. I watched as the blood mixed with the water, making it impure then get washed down the drain like it had no meaning. I had no meaning. Jumping out once the bleeding had stopped I wrapped a bandage around me before slipping into my waitress outfit which was a black dress with a white apron and a white bow that slipped into my hair. After applying makeup to hide the bags and darken my skin so I didn't look like a vampire I looked at the clock. 9:46 I have a good 24 minutes till I start work and it's a 15-minute walk if I hurry. I'll have to clean up when I get back. I slip on my leather coat and black short heeled heels before opening the door. As I did I was met face to face with Kate posed as if to knock. I cursed myself inwardly for making the situation awkward before anything was spoken. "Oh umm, you caught me! I was wondering if you saw Jordan at all?" Kate spoke sweetly to me but I knew when she found Jordan he'd have an ear ache to follow. "You check the bachelor pad, guys like to hang you know." The bachelor pad is the house where my brother, Jack and Fernardo lives. It's just a nickname we've given it. She clicked her fingers and shook her head. "I haven't checked there yet thanks, Teddy and oh umm, don't you think that outfit is a little risky to be wearing for casual?" she gestured to my shirt collar which showed a bit more of my chest than most dresses but this us what u need to wear. "I have work Kate, it's what I need to wear."
"It's just that some might find your outfit offensive."
"Good for them. Hopes it helps them to fucking sleep at night." she gasped at my language and I simply rolled my eyes at her. "Teddy a woman shouldn't use that type of language."
"Well, I'm not your average woman now if you excuse me I have to get to wo-"
"why is your house a mess?" in a panic I closed the door behind me so she couldn't see my rampage from last night. "it's not a mess, it's just the shadows that make it look like that, now Kate I must leave." I went to walk past her but she caught me by the arm which made me look at her. "I wanna ask you something and you have the right to say no." I looked at her and nodded to tell her to continue but on the inside, I was flipping out. Can she tell? Is she gonna call me out about how weak I am? How weird and ugly? She took a deep breath before speaking, "want to get some coffee either today or tomorrow?" I looked at her confused and she quickly let go of my arm before waving her arms in a panic. "I-i mean just for a friendly chat. It's just that I don't know you as much as the others and you let loose last night and I learned a bit more about you. I just want to learn more is all. That and a sorry for making you late for work." I raised an eyebrow at her and thought it over. I shouldn't say yes, it'll ruin everything I've been building up. "Sure but tomorrow I have a double shift today so I won't get back till late." oh yeah work. I looked at my phone to see the time had changed to 9:56 shit. I began running but once in the lift I turned around to the bewildered Kate shouting down the hallway, "Coffee sounds great whatever." then the doors closed, I pressed ground floor and placed my head against the elevator wall sighing as the elevator began moving. What the fuck have I done.