Life Never goes as Planned

Coping

It's been 4 weeks since we found out that Killian had indeed died and publicly announced that he was gone. It was terrible, I was devastated but there was nothing I could do. He was gone and I just needed to cope that he is never coming back.

Aside from Killian being gone, today is one of the days that I was dreading as soon as the kids were born. School, they were starting preschool. I wanted them to get a head start for school so the time had come. Killian and I had planned this since they were born. I just didn't think he wasn't going to be here when that day arrived.

I was getting the kids ready as Jesse was preparing lunch for them. Yeah Jesse has been amazing, he's honestly been a friend to me. He's such a sweetheart and is always worrying about me. Since Lacy can't come with me he's going with me and I had to take him anyways because I'm supposed to be on bed rest so he has to take care of me.

"Ok kids, grab your backpacks." I say as I walked out the room. "Lunch is all set for the twins." I smile. "Thanks, you really shouldn't be doing all this you're just my doctor." He smiles. "No Im your friend, and I don't mind helping out, anything for the twins." I smile. "Doctor Jesse, we are ready," the twins say as they stood in front of Jesse. He smiles.

"Ok well I packed both of your lunches so lets grab your mommy and go," he says and they nod. I smile. We all go to the car and drove to the school. We get there and Jesse helps me out first then gets the twins. We all walk into the school and walk into their classroom.

I was so emotional, I could not contain it. My little ones were going to school already. I looked at Jesse and he gave me a side hug. "They're going to be ok." He says and I nod. "Yeah it's just..." He nods. "I know." I nod. The teacher goes up to us and let's us know the official hours and schedule. "Ok Leía, Liam say bye," she says and they hug me.

I give them a kiss on their foreheads. Then they go and hug Jesse. "Bye doctor Jesse," they both say then walk back to their seats. "See you at 2:30, Mrs. Jones," the teacher says and I smile. We walked and that name hit my soul. Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones I was technically no longer Mrs. Jones. Man did that hurt.

We were walking to the car and I bursted out in tears. "Emma what's wrong?" Jesse asks. "I'm sorry, it's just that Killian and I were supposed to do this together, and he's gone and I just miss him so much, I can't continue like this." I say and he hugs me. "Shhhh, its normal to feel like that Emma," he says as I continued to cry on his shoulder.

"I can't do it," I whisper and he backs away. "Look at me Emma, yes you can, you can get through this, I will help you cope, I will help you get through this. I know it's hard but I will be here ok?" He says giving me a reassuring smile. I smile and nod.

"How about we spend the day at the pier?" I gave him a weird look. "Shouldn't I be on bed rest?" He smiles. "Yeah but you deserve a break, and we will walk slow." I smile. "Don't worry we will be back in time to pick up the kids." I smile. He then wipes the tears from my eyes. "Let's go," he says and I nod.

We get in the car and go on our way. Jesse was way too sweet and caring for me. Of course he knows what I'm going through, he lost his family as well. "Thanks Jesse, you really shouldn't be doing all this." He smiles. "You know it's ok, how many times do I have to tell you that?" I chuckle. "A lot, I think you know by now how stubborn I am." He laughs. "No I haven't noticed." We both laugh.

After 45 minutes we make it to the pier. It was perfect, not that sunny and not that cloudy. There was perfect breeze, everything was perfect. I took a deep breathe of that salty air and smiled. "Let's go get something to eat." I nod. We went and ate some amazing Italian food, of course nothing sea food for me, even though I was craving some.

After that we went and walked by the shops. We were just having a good time. Thats when Killian came to my mind and I started to get sad. I went to sit down and I felt like crying. "Thinking about Killian?" I nod. He half smiles. "You will never forget about him Emma." I nod.

"I think about my wife every day Emma, little things that I do always remind me of her but with time you'll learn to embrace and make peace with his passing." I nod. He smiles. "You never told me how you two met?" I laugh. "He was my intern." He gasps. "Are you serious?" I nod. "So what the magazines said were true?"

I gave him a weird look. "You knew about me?" He laughs. "You're only the most famous fashion designer out there, and plus all the nurses at the hospital I used to work at wouldn't shut up about you and Killian." I smile. "That's funny." He nods.

"I didn't think I would end up taking care of the famous Emma Swan, sorry I mean Emma Jones." I smiled. "Yeah I was the famous Emma Swan, not anymore." He smiles. "You can be Again." I nod. "You can continue to work from home and once Rhea is here you can go back to work and do countless fashion shows." I smile.

"And you can go back to taking care of other patients that's not me." He laughs. "I don't mind being here with you, you know." I smile. "Don't you have hopes and desires?" He smiles as he looks at me straight in the eyes. "I do desire something but it can't happen," he says and I smile. "What is it? Maybe I can help you with it, that's the least I can do after everything you've done to help me." He smiles.

"It's nothing Emma." I give him a straight face. "It's all good, don't worry." I nod. "You don't want to open your own practice, or be in charge of a medical center?" He smiles. "That sounds nice." I smile. "Maybe I can, we shall we the future has in store for me." I smile. "Yeah." He smiles then looks at his watch then gasps.

"I think we should be heading home." I nod. We get to the car and drove back home. "Can you stop by the institute before picking up the kids, I need to grab some of my designs from past collections. I'll text Lacy so you can just grab them. If you don't mind." He smiles.

"Not at all." I smile. "Thanks." I text Lacy to let her know Jesse is going. That's when I start to get sleepy. After a couple of minutes, I doze off.

Time passes by and I wake up in my room. I start to panic. That's when I see a note on my night stand. "You feel asleep on the way back. Don't worry I will go to the institution, pick up the kids and grab lunch for all of us, text me if you need anything. Love, Jesse." I smile and laid back.

He was so sweet, I was just blushing like crazy. That's when Rhea kicks me hard. I groan and rub my belly. Oh little one, are you ok? She calmed down and I was just thinking of Jesse. Poor man he's been through a lot yet he's here being my support.

That's when Rhea kicks me again and I laugh. I see, don't worry my love Im not cheating on your daddy, Jesse is just a friend. I love your daddy so much but he's gone. Don't worry I won't be with someone else, it's just nice having someone with me, ok? I rubbed my belly and smiled. So just relax my love.

I laughed like crazy, my little one wasn't out yet she was already giving me problems. It did warm my heart, she was getting jealous over her daddy. I rubbed my belly again and smiled. Don't worry my little one, you will know how much daddy loved you, even though he didn't know you existed. A tear rolled down my face and with that I slowly fell back asleep.