Paint Me Blue [✔]

ii. | felt |

since she couldn't write what she felt during the day at school, she relied on her computer after school. she typed a Word document and then laid down and closed her eyes.

she thought about how to get her sketchbook back, she wanted it before the month ended —she was thinking of doing anything to get it back, even if it means full on asking him for it.

she saw him with it again the next day, just casually reading it like it is just a normal book that isn't filled with her thoughts and emotions. she wondered what poem he was on, what was going on in her head that day, or what she was feeling that day to be more specific.

shrugging, she goes to her class and draws the whole time to calm her mind. if she wasn't doing something —either it be singing a song, thinking of something, or doing something that distracted her from thinking about how she feels, she'll be fine. she ends up drawing a skull in a light bulb and writes JP beside the skull light bulb.

she looks around the hall for the guy who has her sketchbook. she spots him talking to some guys and girls and then they leave. she watches as his smile falters a little but stays strong no matter what.

JP takes a couple hesitant steps towards his direction, but is spun around by the crowd coming her way. she gives up and tells herself to take it the next time they have health class.

by the time she gets around to even see him, she is heading to the girls bathroom in seventh period. he was walking and reading a poem. she slows down and peeks over his shoulder, “... judge cause I'm a little—” he walks by her and she doesn't get to read the rest of the insight. but the thing was, she didn't need to see the rest of the poem, she knows what it says; she felt a little better than normal and just wrote: “I try not to judge cause I'm a little fυcked up myself.”

another chapter, another day. lower case is intended, and I hope I can make regular updates from now on, I'm not as flooded with assignments, but I still have a lot.

I hope you understand.

-Jazz