Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

8 - Back intact

My new mindset is absolutely amazing. I mean, I feel so free and I can do what I want. It's been about two weeks since I started this new me, and it's been working out so pleasurably. However, my freedom sort of ends when I get home past midnight and my mother's waiting up for me. She says she's seeing a change in my behavior, and I don't think she meant a positive change. I don't know what she wants me to do...sit at home all day and mope? I have no solid friends and no boyfriend, so what else is there to do but find someone to call mine for about an hour or so.

Tonight, just as I closed the door, I find my mother sitting on the steps, waiting for me. I bit my bottom lip softly and my eyes darted downward. Although I'm welcoming my new persona (if I can call it that), I still have respect for my mother, and she's the person I will always have to look up to. So, no matter what she says, I have to do it. I'm not about the disrespect and shit to women. Yes, I have values.

"Mom, I'm sorry," I quickly said, "I lost track of time." That's a lie. I knew I would have arrived home late, but I was in the middle of something extremely important that I just had to ride out.

"Am I supposed to just accept that and let you off the hook?" she rose an eyebrow as she stood from the steps. I scratched the back of my head and looked at my feet. When I do look up at her, I notice she doesn't look extremely pissed off to the point where she will bury me alive, and I let out a soft breath of relief. Mom simmered down visibly and said said, "Honey I get that you think you're young and should be reckless, but-"

"That's not what I'm doing," I interrupted.

"Look, my point is, I need you to be safe, okay. And you aren't even calling to tell me anything. I have to sit here worried as hell that something could happen to you. Ethan, when you're out there anything can happen – the world is a dangerous place."

"I'm sorry, okay."

"And it's like you forgot everything you were about," she shook her head at me, "You rarely ever come to the hospital and the patients miss you, and you're failing school too?"

"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Ethan, I saw a test paper in your trash... a paper that you failed." Gosh, I'm so stupid. Why did I dispose of that in the house? The only reason I failed that test was because of the really good looking substitute, who by the way, kept giving me what I perceived as sexual looks. So, I couldn't really focus on the paper. He was young, though, about twenty-five or something. He looked more like a student than a substitute teacher.

"I'm sorry about that too," I tell her.

She shook her head, "You're grounded."

"What? No, mom, I have-"

"No, Ethan. The only places you're allowed to go is the hospital and school, do you understand me?" she says strictly.

"Mom-" I tried to protest but she wouldn't have it, "Ethan, I already spoke. Now go to bed, you have school in the morning."

I stared at her for a while, actually wishing a boulder would come from the sky and squash her on the spot. But eventually, I just looked away and moved passed her to go upstairs. This is way too fucked up – even for me. She didn't even tell me how long I'm grounded for. What is she trying to do to me? I groan loudly as I slam my bedroom door shut and dash to my bed. I scream in my pillow and cursed my mother.

~*~*~*~

I dragged my feet through the hospital halls with the most dreadful frown on my face. No one mentioned a word to me. It feels so stupid to actually be here  when I really don't want to. Isn't voluntary work supposed to be willing? I just feel forced. I can't go home because my mom won't be there, and she knows I wouldn't actually remain home. So, I'm forced here.

I do what I usually do here, but with less energy... like 95% less energy. Mom doesn't know what she's doing. I'm going to be a pain – I vow to it. I walk to where she usually is behind her desk and lean my elbows on it, staring intently at her.

"You hate me, don't you?" I ask her.

"Remember when you used to love this, honey? What happened?" she asked me. I roll my eyes and scoff. I only hate it now because I'm being forced to do it; because I feel imprisoned. I bet if she didn't make it sound like I had no choice but to stay here, I'd be working so much faster.

"Do you still want to be a doctor?" she asked with raised eyebrows. I groan, not in the mood to answer her question. "Mom, I'm going to do something else," I drawled and turned away from her. My mother called me back but I ignored her. What is the purpose of asking that? My mind has moved passed that, and frankly, I don't even know what is actually going on in there. I know that I'm young and I shouldn't have to care about jobs right now.

There aren't many things to do here anymore, so I took a seat on one of the chairs in the waiting room. I took out my phone, finding a bunch of messages from people who I intended to forget. Why did I even give them my number?

"Hey, you," someone's voice says, making me raise my eyes to look up. Ashton's dazzling eyes stared down at me before he took a seat next to me. He was dressed like a normal teen – but with his machine hooked up to him. I noticed his bedroom slippers, when I looked downward, feeling a bit weird to look into his eyes. We didn't have anything, but I found him attractive, and now it's sort of awkward.

"Hey," I smile, "How have you been?"

"Well," he shrugs, "You don't come around anymore." I couldn't tell if that was a question or a statement. But I decided to answer it as a question, "I've been a bit busy. Do you enjoy my company?" I smirk, then rolled my eyes.

"You're better than some other people I have to spend time; they're either adults or kids."

"Hmm, well make some kid friends. It's not as bad as you think," I shrugged and looked away from him. I like kids. The things they say crack me up, so I like spending time with them. I'm not some kind of pedophile though – the parents are always present when I'm talking with their kids.

After a while of silence between us, Ashton said, "You got piercings?"

I chuckle softly, "Uh yeah – my lip and ear. I was actually thinking of doing my nose too, but maybe that's a little too much, right?" I run my tongue along the piercing at the left corner of my bottom lip. The small amount of pain makes me wince, but I sort of like it. The lip piercing is a bit new, and it still sort of hurts, which means kissing is a bit hard... along with other things which involve the mouth.

"They look good," he compliments. I blink across to him and smile, but then almost immediately look away. I need to remember he's straight and in a relationship. And even though I did secretly make-out with a 'straight' guy, I don't want to do it with Ashton because he's special.

~*~*~*~

A/N: Ethan in the pic above!!!!!!!!!! (Ash Stymest)