Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

35 - Unfair

35

"No," she simply says and I just seemed to stand there in shock. Is she really being like this right now? I fold my arms across my chest as I stared at her, "Really, mom, he has no where else to go."

"Well, he better start looking - there is no way I'm allowing him to stay here," she says to me, without even looking up at me. She already had her mind set on who she thinks Cody is and she just won't give him a chance. She's stirring food in the pot and it would seem like she's ignoring me.

"Mom, would you stop being like this for just one moment and like fricking open your eyes? Okay, I get that he dropped out of school or whatever, but you can't hold that against him forever - he's trying to change. Mom, he just needs somewhere to stay while he's here. He wouldn't even be in your way. Come on, please, mom," I beg. I stared at her as she paid absolutely no mind to me and continued to prepare the food.

I groaned loudly, "Fine then!" I cannot believe she's actually doing this to me. She's fricking ignoring me - she doesn't want to hear any of it, which is highly fucked up. I hate Chris, but I would never treat him the way she treats Cody. She completely hates him and it's the most pettiest thing. She acts lie a fucking three-year-old when it comes to Cody, and I'm not talking about the cute ones.

"I'm going to meet Ashton," I eventually say. I don't want to stay home tonight because my mother is being annoying. I just can't right now. She didn't even try to stop me. It was cold outside, but I didn't even get myself a jacket because i didn't really want to remain in that house any longer. I can't believe this is happening.

She's allowing me to walk to the hospital - in the cold. What a great mother.

*~*~

It wasn't dark yet, but I was still a bit shocked they allowed me in his room. It could be because my mom works here... or I'm like his only visitor so they just allow me... I really don't know. I step inside the room and found him literally curled into a ball, hugging a pillow. He looked sick, and a bit skinnier than he was the last time I say him. It kills me on the inside to see him like this.

"Babe..." I called softly, "Are you okay?" I rose an eyebrows slowly as I made my way closer to him. My eyes began to water as i took in his pain endured features. I bite my bottom lip, realizing he's not okay.

"Should I call a nurse?" I ask him. I don't think I've ever seen him this way before. He never seems to be in this much pain, and it hurts me to see him that way. Ashton quickly shook his head, no. My hand glided across his cheek softly, before I leaned down and placed a kiss on it.

"I'm sorry..." is what I want to say, but I know he'll just tell me to stop saying that. But I don't know what else to say or do right now. Ashton closed his eyes, but I could see his chest moving, so I didn't really get too worried. He has Cancer, these things are expected, but it still sort of shocks me a bit when it does.

I decided to climb into bed with him and he instantly turned around to face me. I wrap my arm around his body and pulled him in before I kissed his forehead. I'm usually the one receiving this type of attention but I can definitely adjust for him. "It'll be alright, babe, trust me," I say to him. I feel so stupid as I say it, though. I don't know what he's going through - I have no right to say that to him. But I just need to say something. Most of things I say are really stupid, so I hope he doesn't like penalize me for this later on.

"I hate that you have to go through this..." I mutter.

"You say that a lot," he tells me softly. I rolled my eyes, "I care."

He flashed me a small smile, but it was obvious he was going through immense pain. I don't know why he doesn't want me to call someone. I don't understand what he's going through and I can't help him. But maybe the nurses can give him some pain killers or something.

"Let me get a nurse, please, Ashton," I plead.

"No..." he says, "I-it's okay..."

"No, it's not. You're in pain and I can't do anything to stop it..." I say, running my hand along his cheek softly. Ashton only smiled at me, as though this is such a happy situation. "It's okay, Ethan... I'm f-fine."

"No you're not - I'm going for a nurse."

He held my wrist gently and I stopped all my movements, I stared at him, "Ethan, please don't."

"Well, I don't know what else to do and I can't lose you... okay... I know what's going to happen."

"Then let it," he says softly.

"No," I shake my head, "Please don't do this to me..."

"Ethan, I can't do this anymore, okay, I've been trying and it's just... I can't," he says to my as his thumb made tiny circles in my hand. He doesn't know what he's doing to me right now. He can't leave me. He has a point, but I can't help but be absolutely selfish right now. I don't want him to leave me. He can't succumb to this - it's too soon. I barely got any time at all with him.

Ashton ran his hand along my cheek before leaning in to kiss my lips. I wish I could freeze this moment for probably the rest of my life, because I already know what's to come and I don't want that. I wasn't even expecting anything like this at all today - I wanted a happy afternoon/night with him. How could he do this to me?

When he pulled away, I just stared at him. My fingers laced in his and I remained silent. A single tear stroll down, although I tried my hardest for it not to. "Don't cry."

"Don't tell me not to cry, Ashton," I say to him. I think my words came out a bit harsh. I guess I was a bit angry, but I was also devastated on the inside.

"Y-you don't look as good when you cry.." he mutters as he wiped my cheek. I flashed a smile, wishing I could remain angry at him. I moved closer to him and lay gently on his chest - like I usually do when we lay together. He hugged me and kissed my forehead gently, while I just lay there, listening to his slow heartbeats.

He ran his fingers comfortingly through my hair, and whispered, "It'll be okay, trust me." I don't think I could even positively respond to that statement, so I just decided to remain silent.

*~*~*~*