Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

16 - Raised in a Zoo

I entered the house behind my mother, walking as slow as ever. Of course she caught me at the hospital, but surprisingly enough she didn't blow up on me - which is what makes me think that she would blow up on me now. She's been too calm about all of this. I am convinced the woman walking ahead of me into my house is not actually my mother. My mother would never be this calm.

She walked straight up the stairs without even turning to tell me anything. I stood at the bottom of the staircase, knowing she's pissing mad (and probably disappointed), but not wanting to actually disturb the sleeping beast. I rolled my eyes, whispering, "Fuck it," before I ran up the stairs, two at a time.

My pace slowed down when I neared her room. I took a single step forward to open the door then I popped my head inside. I scanned the room, only to find her laid back in bed with her laptop on her lap and earplugs in her ears. She's obviously watching a movie. It's what she does when she's so angry she can barely contain it. She says she watches those silly horror movies so she can scream and take out her anger at them, than the person she's actually angry with. It's a good way of dealing with anger, but I could never do that. When I'm angry I shout at the world and curse and scream until I begin crying.

Anyway, I find myself slowly taking a step into the lion's den. My mom blinked up at me, but almost immediately blinked back down to the laptop. I nod my head, double confirming my thoughts that she's really angry. I took a seat on her bed, staring intently at her. I stare at her brown hair, which she held in a loose pony tail, then I went to her thin, vaguely painted in a light pink color lips, thinking of her smile, which always somehow makes me smile. I never really understood how her smile could be so contagious... and apparently so is her frown. 

I need to stop being such an idiot towards her. I'm not usually disrespectful and do things behind her back. I'm just changed now. I think differently, and honestly I find this to be so much better than how I was before.

I sigh softly and got comfortable in her bed. I took out one of the earplugs from her ears and put it into mine. I feel her head turn to look at me but I decided to keep my eyes locked on the screen. I only said, "I'm really sorry, mom."

"I'm done with that okay - I'm watching a movie."

"Yeah, but I really mean it," I turn to look into her eyes, "I'm sorry. About everything. I don't want to hurt you. I love you, mom."

My mother sighed, "Ethan, lets just watch the movie, yeah?" she rest her hand on my bony thigh, squeezing it tightly, probably trying to squeeze out my blood and kill me... just kidding. 

I lean over and peck her cheeks, not feeling as horrible as I felt before. I know it's practically her obligation to forgive me, but I feel like she meant. I love her for that. I feel like I get the most love a mom could give - I don't know if all children feel like that, but I definitely do. I feel like I could mess up so many times and she'd always take me back in. I love her.

~*~

Hannah pushed the door of the ice-cream parlor happily. Honestly, I felt happier than her. I was free now. The ice-cream parlor was the first place I went to as a free man, and damn did it feel good. Hannah was happy to finally spend time with me besides school. 

As we entered the parlor, I instantly began to scan the place for anyone I might know or anyone who's extremely good looking. Besides and old woman and her grandchild, there was a group of girls at the far end of the place. Due to the amount of people here, I wouldn't say this place is a big hit - but Hannah says it's really good, and I trust her.

After we got our ice-cream, Hannah suggested we took a seat and ate here. As much as I didn't want to remain here, I also didn't want to go home. I've seen that place way too much (and if it weren't for Ashton, I'd be saying that about the hospital). We sit down in the booth in front of the group of girls with Hannah facing them.

"Do you feel that feeling of emancipation?" Hannah asked with a grin. I nod my head so quickly, I was afraid it would have fallen off afterward. 

"It's so good. I mean I can't stay out past like eleven, but it's still better than remaining at the hospital with my mother... although I don't think it was even that bad because-" The raise of Hannah's finger had me stop speaking and furrowing my eyebrows. Her eyes were focused not on me, but behind me. When I stopped talking, all I really heard was laughter and then whispers, but I didn't really care about it. It's only when Hannah loudly asked, "Why are those bitches whispering about us and laughing? Ethan, is there a joke?" I looked back to the group of girls.

My eyes landed on that annoying bitch Ashton calls his girlfriend almost immediately. We held a hateful gaze then I turned back to Hannah. I said, "Let's just go."

"Go?" she scoffed, "If they have something to say, why not say it loud for me to hear?" Again, she was speaking loudly for them to hear her. Hannah is that type of fighting chick. She never really walks away from that type of stuff and I actually hate that. I'm a skinny, gay dude - I can't fight for shit, and I know that. All I can do is talk. But Hannah on the other hand, she talks and fights, and she doesn't care. At first glance you'd really think she's a sweet person - but damn are looks deceiving.

The girls continued to laugh, probably at us, and Hannah didn't take that. She got up from her seat and walked to their table. I quickly turned around, just to make sure she doesn't go hitting people's kids. "I'm here now. What was it you wanted to say, huh? If you can whisper it to each other, you sure as hell can tell me."

Ashton's girlfriend glared at me, then looked up to Hannah, "Okay, first of all, just because your loud and was brought up in a zoo, doesn't mean your scary. No one is afraid of a fucked up looking lesbian and her fag friend." I bit my bottom lip, just so I won't say anything. I'm trying to be good for my mom, but this chick is really testing me. I mean, I won't fight her or anything, but I can tell her something so much more hurtful than 'a fucked up lesbian and her fag friend'.

Thankfully, Hannah doesn't care about anything, so she instantly threw a punch at the bitch's face, saying, "That's what the zoo taught me, bitch." What's-her-face stumbled backwards and her friends crowded around her as Hannah just rolled her eyes.

I smiled appreciatively as she walked away from the scene, pulling my arm along with her.

~*~*~*

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