Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

13 - Baby's back!

Much to my surprise, my mother allowed me to go. I decided to come clean about it, telling her I wanted to go meet Cody, for like the first time in forever, and she allowed me. I was certain the earth would stop turning the second she said 'okay' but that didn't happen. She said she knew how I felt about Cody and she knows it'll probably be the only time I'll get to see him again. That statement was shell shocking to me because I always believed she hated Cody,

I paced the dark, lonely pavement, waiting for Cody to pull up, hoping he still has his old car, so I would be able to fix myself a bit when I spot him from a distance. Depending on if he has a new car or not I'd be able to have an idea of who I'm dealing with. I'd be able to tell how much he changed, if he did just by the type of new car he bought, if he did. I'm really hoping that is not the case. I don't want Cody to change. After waiting and pacing for several minutes, I finally decided to give him a call. I began to dial his phone number, which I've already memorized since probably the first week of our relationship because I would continuously call his phone (sickening, I know). Back then, he was less interested in being with me, i think he still had doubts. Admittedly, so did I, but I really liked him as well and I thought ringing his phone about a hundred times was the perfect way to show it. It clearly wasn't. I mean, I have him now, but I can imagine just how annoying that was for him. I would definitely hate it.

I spotted Cody's car in the distance, just as I was dialing his number into my phone. I swallowed a lump in my throat then pushed my hair back with my fingers a couple of times. It probably still looked the same way, but I'm a bit too happy to care about that. His car pulled up in front of me, and I slid in quickly, and it felt like this never stopped. As if he never left and I did this last night and the night before. It all seemed to rush by. Its as if I wasn't standing around and waiting just some seconds ago. The only thing that really mattered to me was that I was inside the car and Cody sat opposite me, with a goofy grin on his face. I missed this. I missed it so much. This was us. This was what we used to be like when he would pick me up from the hospital. He'd always be grinning at me, even when he knew I wasn't in the mood. And his smile alone was enough to make me smile. His smile was enough to lighten the mood and make me forget about everything that annoyed me during the day. That was the type of power Cody had in my life.

My eyes landed on his hazel ones, and all I wanted to do was hug him. And so I did. I pulled him in quickly, engulfing him in a bone-crushing hug, and loving the feeling when he returned it. I didn't feel like pinning him against a wall or kissing the life out of him, I just wanted to embrace him. This moment wasn't one for that. This was to acknowledge each other and revel in the fact that we have each other together at this point in time. I wanted to feel his warm breath on my skin as he let out that soft breath of relief as we continued to hug. I wanted to touch him again and feel every single feeling and tingle I felt when he touched me before he left.

"Gosh, I missed you," I muttered.

"So, you don't hate me?" he asked, slowly pulling away. I only stared into his eyes, happy to see them again. All I had before were pictures and my memories, which helped absolutely nothing. And it definitely didn't feel as good as it feels right now.

"No, Cody. I can't hate you, okay. I love you... I always will love you."

He flashed the tiniest of smiles before blinking away. I didn't expect him to say it back. I'm accustomed to him saying it back to me, but after what happened, I no longer expected it. But it still hurt. Not hearing the words from him still pained me. I hated it so much, but I kept my smile up.

I look away from him, feeling just a bit awkward. I could feel his eyes on me, but I refused to look across at him. "You hate me now, don't you?"